Today, my girlfriend dumped me for refusing to stop talking to my female best friend. When I pointed out that my friend's a lesbian, she said, "How the hell does that change anything?" I have no idea why I'm not happy to be rid of that paranoid imbecile. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I told my girlfriend about a huge fight I had with my female best friend. This friend no longer wants anything to do with me, and I was obviously upset about it. Instead of being supportive, all my girlfriend said was, "Well maybe now you'll shut the fuck up about her for once." FML
Today, my nutjob girlfriend dumped me for refusing to stop talking to my best friend, just because she's a woman. Before she left, my now-ex decided to punish me by destroying the dissertation I've spent months working on, along with both backups of it. FML
Today, my new girlfriend demanded that I delete all my female friends' numbers. Her rationale is, “When them bitches are going through some shit, a shoulder to cry on becomes a dick to ride on.” When I refused, she promptly dumped me because she doesn’t "need a potential cheater” in her life. FML
Today, I introduced my girlfriend to a female friend of mine, because I thought they would get along. Apparently they get along better than I expected; she dumped me for the other girl. FML
Today, my boyfriend’s female "best friend" hates me for absolutely no other reason other than she, "just doesn’t get along with girls." My boyfriend doesn’t see a problem with this, and insists I should just accept it since, "that’s just how she is." Time to throw the whole man away. FML
Today, I was shopping with my girlfriend, when I saw my best friend. I jokingly did a double-take and said I didn't recognize him with his clothes on. We laughed, talked a bit, then went our separate ways. My girlfriend later dumped me, claiming I'm blatantly gay and cheating on her. FML
Today, my girlfriend's best friend was dumped, and was absolutely depressed. My girlfriend thought she'd show her sympathy by breaking up with me so they "could be single together." FML
Today, my girlfriend slapped me and dumped me because she thought I was gay, simply because I had to miss a date because one of my guy friends was in a car accident, and I went to see him at the hospital. FML
Today, my girlfriend got fired from her job for arguing with her female coworker. I found out from a mutual friend that the reason they were arguing was because they were fighting over "a hot male coworker" who hooked up with the female coworker. I think I need to leave her. FML
Today, my girlfriend dumped me because her dog "told her to". FML
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Top comments
Mark Williams 5
better without her.
chessu 21
I wouldn't be so quick to jump to conclusions on this one. Yeah, of course, no one should ban or limit your relationships, but is it possible that you were spending a lot more time and gave a lot more attention to your best friend than you did her and were very coy about what you were doing together? Cause if my man hung out with someone else a lot more than me and I would have no clue doing what, I wouldn't be happy either. Also, is it possible that it's not actually jealousy, but that it's your female best friend who is somehow a bad influence and your (ex-)girlfriend was just trying to protect you? Just playing the devil's advocate here..
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Comments (20)
ToasterWazHerr 4
I know this isn’t the sympathetic response you were looking for, but a friend of my ex-boyfriends was a “lesbian” but tried to act like she knew him better than me (my 6 years to her 1 year of knowing him), and then told him she wanted to have sex with a guy she knew after breaking up with her girlfriend. So, no, she’s not necessarily paranoid or an imbecile. Check yourself, presumptuous asshole. (It’s not very nice to be called assumptious names, is it?)