By Lennyr - United States - Union City Today, I gave birth to my first born child. Somehow, my mom and mother in law made their way to the delivery room, and walked in mid-push. While they were escorted out, I overheard my mother in law asking the nurse how her son, my husband, was holding up. FML I agree, your life sucks 14422 You deserved it 1064 45 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Florida - United States - Winchester Today, when I went to work, my nice coworker gave me a gift basket. And cookies. I had to tell him that I caught his kid keying my car last night. FML I agree, your life sucks 10845 You deserved it 691 24 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, it's my third day in the hospital. On Monday, my mother grounded me for not going to school because I was “milking” a sore foot. On Wednesday, we finally went to the ER and it turns out I have a very bad infection in my foot. She refuses to come to the hospital. FML I agree, your life sucks 4153 You deserved it 193 21 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Embarassed - United States Today, I had to explain to my father why most of the bar was giving him dirty looks at a concert. His air guitar motions made it look like he was jacking off under the table. FML I agree, your life sucks 40179 You deserved it 3006 47 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Ricky - Canada Today, I was working at Old Navy. A girl came up to me and did a bizarre dance. Not knowing how to react, I imitated her to be friendly with the customer. Then she stopped cold. Her friend stormed up to me and yelled, "you jerk! Why are you mocking her? She has tourettes you know!" FML I agree, your life sucks 52996 You deserved it 40751 209 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Maddie Today, I had to take a dump in a box for a stool test. FML I agree, your life sucks 26423 You deserved it 12911 178 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I got a call from my grandmother. Turns out my father found out about my elopement with my husband through my stepmother, because someone she works with told her. We were planning on it being a surprise, and telling people on Christmas. My father won't even talk to me now. FML I agree, your life sucks 12305 You deserved it 29386 98 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Sh*t - Venezuela - Caracas Today, I was in the shower, when I heard my daughter scream and shout, "Mommy, mommy! Help! Come quick!" I panicked and rushed downstairs without even looking for a towel to cover myself, all so I could find out she'd just gotten a piece of dirt on her shoe. FML I agree, your life sucks 26648 You deserved it 2870 132 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By wah wah "you raised him" - United States - San Francisco Today, I walked in on my son holding a lighter to the end of a pen and sniffing the fumes. Apparently he thought it would get him high. FML I agree, your life sucks 41678 You deserved it 5242 96 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United Kingdom - Brentwood Today, my boyfriend convinced me to face my fear of horror movies by promising to hold my hand through the entire flick. He fell asleep 10 minutes into it, farting and snoring in his sleep, whilst I was paralysed by fear. FML I agree, your life sucks 23898 You deserved it 3630 82 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Canada Today, I had to explain to a customer that she can't use the bathroom while going through the drive-thru. I still don't understand what exactly she had in mind. FML I agree, your life sucks 5715 You deserved it 420 11 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By kj1 - United States - Draper Today, my boyfriend yelled at me from the other room for washing the dishes "too loudly". FML I agree, your life sucks 46180 You deserved it 6674 149 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By brittrus - Canada - Milton Today, my dad drove me to the airport. As I got out of the car, he said, "You better pop that zit on your face, security might think it's a bomb". FML I agree, your life sucks 33650 You deserved it 3253 57 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By anx133 - China Today, I daringly tried that fish-bath thing, where all these fish come and eat all of your skin's dead cells. I got into it, and after 15 minutes of being a human buffet, at least 20 of the fish died. FML I agree, your life sucks 37432 You deserved it 6646 70 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By painedandpissed - United States - Los Angeles Today, I called my boyfriend and invited him over to watch a movie. He was all for it, until I mentioned I was on my period, at which point he said "NOPE." and hung up on me. FML I agree, your life sucks 44931 You deserved it 7135 176 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I woke up to find my boyfriend watching me sleep. I asked him if he was staring at me because he was in love. He replied that it was because my farting wouldn't let him sleep. FML I agree, your life sucks 31688 You deserved it 13930 71 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Midlothian Today, during parent/teacher conferences, my mom told my Chemistry teacher that I have an intense crush on him. There are still 7 months left in the school year. FML I agree, your life sucks 51704 You deserved it 5311 121 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Greg - 29/8/2020 05:01 Lovely Rita Today, I went to lunch with a friend in her car. I told her to park in a lot that had signs warning that we'd be towed, saying, "They never tow anyone from here. In fact, if you get towed, I'll pay for it." When we returned, her car was gone. I had to pay $145 in cash to get it back. FML I agree, your life sucks 416 You deserved it 3365 10 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Lilragu97 - United States - Exeter Today, I walked into my upstairs bathroom to find my mom's new boyfriend eating soup, naked on the toilet. In shock, I stepped back and fell down a flight of stairs, backwards, and hit my head on wall, leaving a dent in it. FML I agree, your life sucks 30267 You deserved it 2375 139 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Sacramento Today, I was sitting in the park with my new dog; I got her from the pound last week. We were enjoying the sun when I noticed that every time a black person walked past, she'd bark like crazy. Great, my dog is a racist. FML I agree, your life sucks 30913 You deserved it 3166 62 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 25/5/2020 14:00 Some friends you've got there Today, I got my commissioned anime portrait done. One of my friends commented on why all my commissions are skinny look-alikes, when I'm really fat in real life and active in body positivity. Then everyone started agreeing with her, stating that if I was so happy with who I am, why my art is of me slim? FML I agree, your life sucks 716 You deserved it 1740 13 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, at a family gathering, my aunt asked me when I was planning to have children. I'm only 16, I laughed and said not for a while, definitely not until I get married. My family shook their heads, and ignored me for the rest of the day. Apparently, teenage pregnancy is valued in my family. FML I agree, your life sucks 65085 You deserved it 3263 194 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I finally worked up the courage to play my friends the demo CD that I've spent all summer recording. I didn't tell them it was me. Not even 10 seconds into the first song, my best friend asked me to turn it off because it sucked. FML I agree, your life sucks 30490 You deserved it 6628 71 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ShadowJack - United States Today, my mom walked in on me masturbating. She didnt look away and we stared at each other for a while; then she asked me what I wanted from McDonalds. FML I agree, your life sucks 41291 You deserved it 9717 319 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By One Angry Vegan Today, marks 2 weeks since I got Oral Allergy Syndrome, a.k.a. randomly becoming allergic to apples, bananas, strawberries, blueberries, raspberries, blackberries, grapes, mangos, carrots, celery, beets, sunflower seeds, fennel, my toothpaste, and more things I just haven't tried yet. I'm vegan. FML I agree, your life sucks 4747 You deserved it 2179 62 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By 4fingerdiscount - United States - Knoxville Today, my bitch of a boss sent out a group text saying she'd had a chainsaw accident and lost the tips of 4 of her fingers and would be out indefinitely. When I told my boyfriend, his immediate response was to grab my phone and reply "I'm stumped, I don't know what to say." She hasn't responded yet. FML I agree, your life sucks 15290 You deserved it 1892 60 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By theRoomie - United States Today, my loser roommate got wasted. He comes to me before going to bed, tells me he loves me, tries to hug me, then explosively vomits all over my face, my hair, my clothes. Then spends the rest of the night retching. FML I agree, your life sucks 34701 You deserved it 2819 38 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By whoops - 3/10/2020 05:06 Trans women are women Today, my son brought his new girlfriend home. I took him aside and hugged him, reassuring him that I loved and accepted him no matter his sexual preference. He looked at me confused and asked what I meant. His girl was obviously trans, but he had no idea. I didn’t know he didn’t know. FML I agree, your life sucks 1700 You deserved it 301 24 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Lady Today, I found out that my mother has been telling everyone that my fiancé and I are having a "shotgun wedding" because we plan to get married quickly. She didn't realize that means that the bride is pregnant, which I'm not. I have no idea what to do with the baby gifts I'm receiving. FML I agree, your life sucks 3359 You deserved it 214 17 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By I did them anyway - New Zealand Today, my flatmate asked me to wash the large pile of dishes on the bench, and if I would start on cleaning the house which was a total mess. This would have been fine if I hadn't just walked in after being away for a week. FML I agree, your life sucks 25924 You deserved it 2157 62 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By David3000 - Australia Today, I finally finished my 500 page manuscript and so went out to buy some paper to print it off. I get back home and find out my dad has infected my computer with a virus and the only way to save it was to wipe the hard drive, which he did. That script took me a year and I have no backup. FML I agree, your life sucks 42758 You deserved it 27803 8 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By mommiedearest - United States - Columbia Today, I found a disturbing video on my 8-year-old's tablet. In the video, I was suffering from sleep paralysis. He's convinced I'm part demon. FML I agree, your life sucks 21739 You deserved it 1804 63 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By sheryl_m - United States Today, I came home expecting a surprise party. It was my birthday and I had overheard my friends planning it all week. Nobody was there. It turns out the party they were planning was for my friend's dog's birthday. FML I agree, your life sucks 68022 You deserved it 4522 80 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By lily_marleen - United States Today, we have a fruit fly infestation again because my roommate keeps buying fruit and letting it rot on the counter. Despite the moldy fruit being covered in flies, she insists it's my fault because I left an empty bottle of beer out. FML I agree, your life sucks 10051 You deserved it 686 26 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By savagepixie Ex-Lax Time Today, my boyfriend and I were playing around, and he thought it would be funny to steal my ring and "pretend" to swallow it. I tried to get it back, but unfortunately I "surprised" him. He reckons I'll get it back some time tomorrow. FML I agree, your life sucks 1679 You deserved it 199 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By redcherries90 - United States Today, I slipped on the new snow and sprained my ankle. As my mom and I were leaving the emergency room, she says, "You owe me $4 for parking," and she meant it. FML I agree, your life sucks 31606 You deserved it 3982 92 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Temecula Today, I came home from a relaxing, peaceful vacation. When I got home my 4-year-old son was free-balling with poop all over his body, screaming "Bob the Builder will kick your ass." The baby sitter is nowhere to be found and I can't get him to stop saying, "I love ass." FML I agree, your life sucks 46849 You deserved it 5966 152 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By stanDman - Canada Today, I sprayed hair spray under my arms instead of anti-perspirant. I didn't realize it until I went to put my shirt on and couldn't raise my arms. FML I agree, your life sucks 21995 You deserved it 10903 37 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By mikki_arlert - Australia - Melbourne Today, my mother threatened my psychiatrist with legal action because he told her the organic and herbal "medicine" she swears by don't actually "cure" mental illness like she claims. FML I agree, your life sucks 10313 You deserved it 680 33 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Debra2005 - United States Today, I adopted a dog from the local shelter. I put the dog in the car and he was shedding everywhere, but I was ok with that because he was my dog. As I pulled into the parking lot, the dog began to poop in the backseat of my car. When I got him out of the car, he ran off. $100 for him to poop and run away. FML I agree, your life sucks 47248 You deserved it 10664 119 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By cbchawks | 14 #7738320 - Sunday 16 December 2018 3:03 I wish I could get that drunk. . . . and make it to the bathroom. that was the important part. I'm running out of couches to throw away Send a private message 0 0 Reply
By cbchawks | 14 #7738320 - Sunday 16 December 2018 3:03 I wish I could get that drunk. . . . and make it to the bathroom. that was the important part. I'm running out of couches to throw away Send a private message 0 0 Reply
Today, I got home from work a few hours early to find my mum cheating, right in the middle of the act. So much for a nice afternoon off. FML I agree, your life sucks 782 You deserved it 57 4 Comments
Today, barely able to pay rent while working 3 jobs, I decided to give in to the idea of making online sex work photos and videos. Everyone else seems... I agree, your life sucks 892 You deserved it 315 6 Comments