Today, I took my 4 year-old son to the bank with me. He asked why we were going, and I explained that I had a couple of checks that they would turn into money. When we got in line, he loudly exclaimed, "Mommy has checks for money!" Except "checks" sounded almost exactly like "sex." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after explaining to my two year old that we were going bra shopping, he decided to announce to the entire bank that we were going to buy Mommy some boobies. FML
Today, in a supermarket, my four-year-old son whispered to me, asking if the checkout lady was able to wash between her fat rolls. She heard. FML
Today, at my work, I was ringing though a kid's purchase. I try to be friendly with the kids and when he handed me his cash I said "Thank you, sir!" in a playful manner. He then turns to his mom and says "Mom, why does everyone think I am a boy?". FML
Today, at the bank, my 8-year-old son decided to pull out realistic looking toy gun, and scream "FREEZE! Give me all your money!" The dim-witted bank teller pressed the silent alarm, and I was nearly arrested. FML
Today, I was ringing a lady up at the register. I noticed her son was doing the peepee dance, so I rushed the payment process up and handed her the receipt. The little boy said "Mommy" and the mom looked down, then back up at me saying, "Your problem now" and walked out. The boy had pissed on the floor. FML
Today, I was finally paid back by a friend who wrote a check out. Not really looking at it, I went to the bank to deposit it. As I handed it to the teller, I noticed that he had written "sex" in the "for" memo. FML
Today, I went grocery shopping with my toddler. At the checkout, I realized that I forgot my wallet at home. As I frantically searched my purse, my toddler shouted, "Mommy, do we need this?" and held up a box of condoms she'd grabbed from a nearby shelf. Everyone stared. FML
Today, I realized that my 5 year old son has more money saved up in his piggy bank than I have in my actual bank account. FML
Today, I was at work handling the cash register. It wasn't working correctly, so I apologized to the woman I was waiting on for the delay and explained, "The cash register's being a little retarded today." Then I noticed her clearly "special" adult son standing behind her. FML
Today, at work, an old man was having trouble using his credit card at the checkout. I told him to "just stick it in", and he replied with "I love it when you talk dirty to me." The whole line at the checkout laughed. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
tannerianian 11
That's actually really cute. Don't worry about it. I'm sure people know what he ment.
Peachy2392 26
Children make life so much more interesting.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (101)
AshaaFerreira 22
Now that's a story to put in your speech at his wedding!
Dalishelf 4
Don't sweat it OP, he's four and his speech isn't perfect. I'm sure everyone knew what he meant.
etishuman22 32
Your son is adorable. I love the enthusiasm in small children when they learn something new. OP, have you seen the video about the little 3 year old who gets a toy bow and arrow and can't pronounce it properly, so he keeps saying he got a "boner"? That stuff is gold. Feed off of it. Treasure it. Remember it when they're grown and you're all sad that your babies aren't babies anymore and it'll cheer you up.
The_Big_Boss 20
Yes!! I saw that video. Hilarious.. Mommy I have a boner
etishuman22 32
"Just don't shoot it at your mom, son. That's my job."
Queensland 27
That's the shaytards... I love the shaytards!!!
graffitied_love 20
I bet most people didn't take him seriously as he is 4 :)
TheBestNameEver 5
this why everyone loves kids:D they make life so much more interesting
iamsodoneman 4
Haha I'm sure people knew what he meant
perdix 31
The kid is a born pimp! Advertising the wares in a place where there are guys with money -- brilliant!
EmmaMK 35
Very cute! You must write it in his baby book to remind you both. It will be a funny story in years to come.
CrazyChiC42 10
Say "Yes, mommy's CHECKS are going to turn into money" and people will understand.
JordynnLOL 11
Kids say the darnedest things. I personally don't even listen to what kids say half the time, they could say whatever they want and I'd just be standing there screaming "Awww!!".