Today, I took my 4 year-old son to the bank with me. He asked why we were going, and I explained that I had a couple of checks that they would turn into money. When we got in line, he loudly exclaimed, "Mommy has checks for money!" Except "checks" sounded almost exactly like "sex." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after explaining to my two year old that we were going bra shopping, he decided to announce to the entire bank that we were going to buy Mommy some boobies. FML
Today, in a supermarket, my four-year-old son whispered to me, asking if the checkout lady was able to wash between her fat rolls. She heard. FML
Today, at my work, I was ringing though a kid's purchase. I try to be friendly with the kids and when he handed me his cash I said "Thank you, sir!" in a playful manner. He then turns to his mom and says "Mom, why does everyone think I am a boy?". FML
Today, at the bank, my 8-year-old son decided to pull out realistic looking toy gun, and scream "FREEZE! Give me all your money!" The dim-witted bank teller pressed the silent alarm, and I was nearly arrested. FML
Today, I was ringing a lady up at the register. I noticed her son was doing the peepee dance, so I rushed the payment process up and handed her the receipt. The little boy said "Mommy" and the mom looked down, then back up at me saying, "Your problem now" and walked out. The boy had pissed on the floor. FML
Today, I was finally paid back by a friend who wrote a check out. Not really looking at it, I went to the bank to deposit it. As I handed it to the teller, I noticed that he had written "sex" in the "for" memo. FML
Today, I went grocery shopping with my toddler. At the checkout, I realized that I forgot my wallet at home. As I frantically searched my purse, my toddler shouted, "Mommy, do we need this?" and held up a box of condoms she'd grabbed from a nearby shelf. Everyone stared. FML
Today, I realized that my 5 year old son has more money saved up in his piggy bank than I have in my actual bank account. FML
Today, I was at work handling the cash register. It wasn't working correctly, so I apologized to the woman I was waiting on for the delay and explained, "The cash register's being a little retarded today." Then I noticed her clearly "special" adult son standing behind her. FML
Today, at work, an old man was having trouble using his credit card at the checkout. I told him to "just stick it in", and he replied with "I love it when you talk dirty to me." The whole line at the checkout laughed. FML
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Top comments
tannerianian 11
That's actually really cute. Don't worry about it. I'm sure people know what he ment.
Peachy2392 26
Children make life so much more interesting.
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Comments (101)
Cami111 2
That sounds cute I think the people in the line maybe knew that's not he ment he's only 4
AprylAnn 23
Bahahahahaha payinh for sex with a check, highly unlikely. Lol, gotta love kids tho!
Emma1562 35
Haha #69 makes it all the better
lambda_fml 40
Cheques?
cosicosei 22
Omg ******* thank you. I honestly thought I was suddenly in a sea of people who never graduated 5th grade
LisandroH 6
Awe!
ni0ve 9
how the hell does she deserve this?
lolita88_fml 27
That's adorable :)
onorexveritas 24
oh man. I hope the people were understanding
SCTetra 10
Isn't that how a conversation starts? ;)
sailorkristina 11
that reminds me of the story my history teacher told me; her daughter loves to do crafts, but when she says "mommy, i wanna do crafts!" in public, it sounds like "mommy, i wanna do crack!"
ladybuglet 22
When I was a kid and I went somewhere like the bank with my mom, I was expected to be quiet. I'm not saying that I was expected to shut the hell up; I'm saying that it was expected of me to speak quietly, even if I was really young (2 years+)