Intimacy: It's business time

It's business time

By anonymous - 17/03/2015 05:09 - United States - Spokane

Today, I tried to surprise my husband by wearing something sexy to bed. He didn't say anything, just laughed and left the room for 10 minutes. The little confidence I had disappeared, so I changed, feeling stupid for thinking I could pull off sexy. He got mad at me for being confusing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 250

You deserved it 4 117

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Same thing different taste

By Desertdryspell - 20/12/2018 14:00

Today, I dressed up in new lingerie I had bought to surprise my partner. He said "what do you want? Just go to bed instead". So much for that new confidence. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 2 605

You deserved it 250

Jumping to conclusions

By Anonymous - 08/03/2015 10:33 - United Kingdom - The Hyde

Today, I decided to put on some sexy lingerie and wait for my husband to come home to surprise him. He took one look at me and immediately accused me of cheating. He was convinced my explanation was a lie and that I'd rushed some guy out the back door when he came home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 859

You deserved it 3 585

Meh

By Meh - 18/07/2009 15:51 - United States

Today, I tried to surprise my husband because our sex life is lacking. We have planned sex Tuesday night, every week, with the lights off. When he came home for lunch, I was naked and waiting for him. He took one look and said, "I forgot you looked like that. Meh, I'm going back to work." FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 200

You deserved it 8 564

By lollipopp56 - 26/03/2009 06:09 - Canada

Today, I wanted to surprise my boyfriend by dressing up in sexy lingerie. When I went to answer the door he was standing there with a shocked expression, his friends parked in the driveway had the same expression as well. He came to break up with me. He told me after we had sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 149 464

You deserved it 13 822

Dirty talk

By Anonymous - 05/12/2010 06:57 - United States

Today, I felt like spicing up our marriage, so I thought I'd surprise my husband when he got home from work. I put on my sexiest teddy, lit some candles, and laid on the bed. He walked in the room, looked at me for a second, farted, then asked me what was for dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 337

You deserved it 4 763

Expectations

By Anonymous - 02/01/2022 05:01 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I are on vacation. He was watching TV, and I thought I’d try to be sexy, so I walked in wearing lingerie. He smiled at me and said, “What the hell are you wearing?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 565

You deserved it 231

Be careful what you wish for…

By Sady_Ct - 15/05/2019 12:12

Today, I caught my husband trying on the sexy bra I bought to wear just for him. For shits and giggles, I made him try on my dress too. He looked better in it than I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 582

You deserved it 581

Buzzing the tower

By Princess ? - 12/04/2020 14:00

Today, I was taking a shower when my husband suddenly came in naked. I thought we were gonna have some fun, and so tried to be sexy. He took a quick shower and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 203

You deserved it 297

By Tonya - 28/06/2009 03:01 - United States

Today, I left the house for a while and when I came back my husband was wearing my lacy lingerie. He looks better in it than I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 284

You deserved it 7 795

By anonymous - 03/06/2013 04:41 - United States - Banner Elk

Today, feeling the need to spice things up in our sex life, I dressed up in my husband's navy uniform jacket, hat, and a pair of heels. When he came into the room, he took one look at me and started laughing uncontrollably. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 997

You deserved it 18 323

gracehi 31

Tuesday 17 March 2015 9:18

You mean being laughed at for your attempt at seduction didn't turn you on and make you feel super confident? How strange. No wonder he was confused.

mxgirl1998 26

Tuesday 17 March 2015 9:14

He shouldn't have gotten mad. You deserve better, A for effort!

Comments

booze_n_bitches 37

Tuesday 17 March 2015 9:22

How about nobody gets mad and you just have some great sex instead ;) not all men like the lingerie shebang, but kudos for trying to add a little spice in!

Fairyjoshy 13

Tuesday 17 March 2015 11:47

Being laughed at for attempting to appear sexy sorta prevents great sex.

nameisname 12

Thursday 19 March 2015 11:04

Maybe he wasn't laughing at her to make fun maybe it was like a little impressed laugh that she did this so he left to get ready

buenos24 16

Tuesday 17 March 2015 9:24

Every guy likes the lingerie shebang

KattHull 8

Tuesday 17 March 2015 19:50

every girl to ;)

8Dirty1 24

Tuesday 17 March 2015 9:30

next time you be the man in bed since he's clueless

llalala_fml 19

Wednesday 18 March 2015 10:41

What does being "the man in bed" mean exactly?

8Dirty1 24

Wednesday 18 March 2015 22:18

to take control

llalala_fml 19

Thursday 19 March 2015 14:20

It's not just a man thing to take control in the bedroom.

WaltzingPhanthom 23

Tuesday 17 March 2015 9:39

Meanwhile, somebody else in this website is writing an FML about not getting laid enough...

dawood_k 27

Tuesday 17 March 2015 9:53

Obviously he has something wrong with him. Which male doesn't appreciate lingerie... Sorry OP.

itis409 14

Wednesday 18 March 2015 3:59

As much as I appreciate lingerie I can understanding where this guy is coming from. I've been married for over 5 years now, and the last time my wife and I had sex was almost 2 and a half years ago. Because of this, I very well may have done the same thing if my wife decided to do something like this. As bad as it sounds I think I've gotten to the point in my life where sex doesn't mean anything to me other than I know my wife can't tell me she's pregnant with my child. Does that sound bad? Possibly, but it's what I've become accustomed to. Maybe he has experienced something similar to my situation?