Today, after my 22-year-old son realized that there was no more contact solution, he decided to use tequila because he thought it would "kill the germs." We had to go to the hospital to have his eyes flushed out. I raised this moron. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my younger brother decided it would be funny to put rubbing alcohol in my contact lens case while I had them soaking overnight. I didn't realize this until I put the first one in. FML
Today, I had to pick my 22-year-old son up from the hospital, after he got blind drunk, got his hand stuck in a Pringles can, and got the bright idea of staggering to the local ER to get it cut off. FML
Today, I had to take my son to the hospital for drinking sunscreen. Apparently, he saw something on the internet that said if he drank it, his body would sweat it out and continually apply it to his body. He's 16. FML
Today, my brother thought it would be hilarious to put vinegar in my contact solution. I took my contacts out hours ago and my eyes still burn. FML
Today, my moron of a teenager drank lube to lubricate his throat during a coughing fit, thinking it would take away the itchiness in his throat. FML
Today, I came home to find my 14-year-old son attempting to get drunk off aftershave. FML
Today, I woke up and put my contacts in. It appears that I got drunk enough last night that instead of soaking my contacts in contact solution, I used mouthwash. FML
Today, my 18-year old son decided to run his hand over our wooden fence to try and get a splinter, as he "forgot what they felt like." Last month, he stabbed himself in the arm with a sewing needle because he "forgot what an injection feels like." I raised this idiot. FML
Today, I had to call poison control on one of my students, because they decided to drink a half a bottle of hand sanitizer. FML
Today, my son drank a bottle of hot sauce. It wasn't a dare, he actually thought that it would give him a fever so that he could skip school tomorrow. This idiot is 15 years old. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
perdix 31
I hope you did the Pee Wee Herman Tequila dance in the ER waiting room. That woulda showed him.
truehitman2010 0
idiot everyone knows your suppost to use vodka
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (229)
AvengedSevenfold_fml_fml 12
What I don't understand is how he got both contacts in before realizing that it burned... >.>
IndigoFuckYou 9
Well thought out. And, for the record, Avenged Sevenfold is amazing.
Capt_Oblivious 10
When is nature finally going to get around to skimming the 'junk' out of the gene pool?
purple_sarah88 0
Yes spamming your misspelled comment makes it valid! You're old enough to understand sarcasm right?
psikosis 0
I guess this gives an entirely new meaning for Tequilla Sunrise
NoraT_fml 6
your son is a bright shiny star :)
Iknoweverything 29
What a waste of alcohol. *sigh*
takemewithy0u 0
What a mom... what a mom! You're right, you raised him... so who's the real moron here?
yourmurderscenex 13
hey, idiot.. how is it his mom's fault he did something like that? i bet you did some stupid crap that your mom didn't raise you to do. hmm? i know i have. i don't think my mom my mom told me that taking more sleeping pills will make it work faster... i think i thought of that all on my own. so you need to stfu. thank you :) (i had my wisdom teeth removed and i was having an allergic reaction to my medicine so i thought "hey let me take like five sleeping pills so i can just sleep through this pain! the more i take the faster it will work." im not suicidal, just clearing that up.)
hamsmum 2
lmao
j_cat187 20
kids are suppose to drink alcohol not wash their eyes with it
lizzytishxo 0
your an asshole for calling him a moron.