Weird, Awkward, Spooky and Work: Invasion of the bodysnatchers

Invasion of the bodysnatchers

By Anonymous - 19/11/2010 03:04 - United States

Today, I'm at work as a security guard. At a morgue. Why am I here? FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 420

You deserved it 6 105

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Same thing different taste

By emily - 30/07/2009 08:58 - United States

Today, my cell phone was stolen. I work in a morgue. By myself. Obviously it wasn't stolen by any of those people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 065

You deserved it 4 310

Flashdance

By Muhd Hazrie - 27/07/2021 02:01

Today, I was working as a security guard in a office building. It was 5 p.m. and most of the staff had gone home so it was pretty quiet. I did a little ballet dance around my security post. When I turned around, I saw my supervisor taking a video of me. He sent it to my boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 892

You deserved it 429

LET ME IN

By Zxry123 - 31/12/2022 16:00 - Singapore - Singapore

Today, I work the night shift as a security officer. I packed my uniform and my stuff into one large bag and left for work. When I arrived, I realized that I'd left something important at home, so guess what it was? My security pass and it was almost 5 minutes before my shift started. FML

I agree, your life sucks 693

You deserved it 256

No one is safe

By chili - 24/07/2021 04:01

Today, I got mugged at work. The sad thing is I'm a cop and was trying to catch the people who mugged me previously while off duty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 852

You deserved it 314

By fucked - 24/08/2014 20:03 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I landed my first job as a security officer. Only after I signed all the paperwork did I find out that the area I'll be working is apparently a hotspot for violent shootings. I'm screwed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 382

You deserved it 6 190

By anon - 23/11/2011 22:53

Today, I started my new job at a security company. In the first 15 minutes there was a bomb threat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 005

You deserved it 3 026

By copshop - 10/11/2011 11:40 - United States

Today, I was working the graveyard shift as a security guard. I fell asleep in my car doing paperwork around 2 am. When my supervisor came to check on me, he pounded on my window, wearing a "Scream" mask. I panicked and pepper sprayed him. Too bad my window was closed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 291

You deserved it 36 027

By Anonymous - 25/11/2014 20:15 - United States

Today, as I walked into the bank, I tripped and bumped into a security guard. He thought I was assaulting him, so he pinned me to the floor and called for backup as he held me at gunpoint. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 931

You deserved it 3 127

Parp Blarp Mall Carp

By Clinch - 25/02/2022 04:00

Today, I was security at a shopping centre and tried to stop a guy from drinking in public. He told me to fuck off and "go play cops and robbers somewhere else", so I tried to escort him to the security office. He picked me up with one hand and threw me in the fountain. My boss let him go with a warning. I hate my job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 012

You deserved it 155

Stress factor 11

By Jonoq - 04/10/2019 16:00 - Canada

Today, in a 2-hour period at work, I had to talk to the cops, clean up shit and clean up vomit, yet none of these events were related. The worst part is, I work as a lifeguard and none of this is in the job description. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 480

You deserved it 122

boyguydudemalema 0

Friday 19 November 2010 8:57

because you applied for it ?

Hasmo 0

Friday 19 November 2010 8:58

someone needs to protect the zombies right? your doing your country a service

Comments

FatNerd 0

Saturday 2 April 2011 1:39

Not going to college, that's why.

crazyrunnergirl 7

Wednesday 27 April 2011 13:23

you tell me

tBo111 0

Tuesday 17 May 2011 4:32

necrophiliacs?

IAreNotANom 2

Wednesday 18 May 2011 16:25

zombies

MecAdrian 0

Wednesday 8 June 2011 1:27

You can never be too careful about zombies man.

RefugeForChris 0

Saturday 18 June 2011 23:36

So you can be the first victim of a zombie attack:D

ii_tayman 0

Tuesday 5 July 2011 9:32

this is a lame FML

TheCube 6

Monday 11 July 2011 3:33

Look at the broght side, you get paid for doing jack shit.

DalekScythe 0

Thursday 21 July 2011 18:48

maybe to guard the morgue from necrophiliacs.

MareNostrum 0

Friday 22 July 2011 18:09

Its quite simple. You keep the necromancers out, and therefore, you keep the corpses unanimated.

Keywords

Neighbours Cops Miscellaneous Weird Parents Scary Health Stressed out Transportation Embarrassing Cars Work My ex LGBTQIA+ Love First Dates Social Media Facebook Intimacy Sex Virginity School Painful Tinder Awkward Dating Jealousy Coworkers AITA Anxiety

The Top

Today, I thought I'd patched up the hole in my window pretty well. That is, until I heard a buzzing noise in my room. There was a huge ass bee that somehow got inside and was trying to escape. I would've helped, but I'm terrified of bees, and I'm now afraid to enter my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 308

You deserved it 198

Today, I was ready to get intimate with my husband 7 months after giving birth to our son. He always made excuses as to why he couldn’t. Our marriage was on the rocks because of this, so when I sat him down to talk he admitted that to save this marriage I need to get a “tummy tuck” and a “breast lift.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 062

You deserved it 233

The Top

Today, I reached my goal weight. My arms and legs are thin, but my face looks horrible and my belly didn't reduce an inch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 823

You deserved it 292

Today, at work, my mouse cursor kept randomly moving all over the screen, and messed up an entire day's attempted work. As I was leaving, I overheard one of my co-workers saying he'd plugged a wireless mouse adapter into my computer, and had been trolling me all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 616

You deserved it 4 551

Today, I was babysitting for my mum's friend. I put her little boy on my knee, and he kept pulling at my top. I asked him "are you hungry?" He replied "No, I want to see your titties." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 556

You deserved it 11 320

Today, I made a frustrating discovery about my new bunny. He can’t stand the fan in my small studio apartment, and thumps angrily and refuses to sleep if it's on. I can’t sleep with it off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 640

You deserved it 425

Today, I got set up to go to prom with my friend, her man, and his twin brother. The twin I was set up with has decided to start talking to me over text, and proceeds to make racist jokes and acknowledges the full-on racism. My friend who's going with the brother? She's black. I'm stuck a whole night with this guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 387

You deserved it 101

Today, I got dumped for not "walking the talk" by someone who'd laid a whole bunch of relationship ground rules on day one, and conveniently violated each one of them in two weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 202

You deserved it 221