Today, I had been sick all day, so to cheer me up my dad drove me to get ice cream. On our way back, we hit a puppy. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I faked a sore throat for the school nurse so I could go home early. It took my dad the rest of the school day just to get there to pick me up. FML
Today, my family went on vacation. I had to stay home to take care of everyone's animals. I called my mom, who said she was too busy to talk to me. When my sister asked her who was on the phone, she replied, "The dog sitter." FML
Today, while walking down the street, a truck hit a puddle and splashed me with water. After I cursed and flipped him off, he put his truck in reverse and splashed me again. FML
Today, I lost my dog. I looked around my neighborhood for hours, and found him under my bed asleep when I got home. FML
Today, my car broke down in the middle of nowhere. I walked about 3 miles to the nearest house to call a tow truck. When I got back to where I left my car, it was gone. FML
Today, my mom had an appointment with my teacher after class. She never showed. My teacher ended up driving me home. FML
Today, my mom decided to follow me during my driving test. She rear ended me. FML
Today, I went to my grandmother's house to pick up her cat to take him to the vet. She forgot who I was and sprayed me in the face with pepper spray. FML
Today, my parents called me to ask if I could drop my dog off to them on Sunday. They're having a Superbowl party and want to show her off to their guests. My dog is invited, but I'm not. FML
Today, I thought it would be a good idea to sneak out of work early and pay a little visit to the pub. I ended up staggering home, drunkenly making myself a nacho cheese dorito milkshake with the blender, then promptly puked my guts out all over the kitchen table. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
eviiee_fml 3
this is a fml for the dog not you. poor puppy :(
ActionManly 11
What a CAT-astrophe! Wait, wrong pun...
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (245)
jswizzle_ 6
I'd probably have a seizure if I was in the car that hit the puppy. ;(
chaman_fml 0
well first off, what was the puppy doin outside by itself? let alone being in the road? i mean it sucks that the puppy got hit, cuz I surely would have been crying, but the owner can't be too upset becuz he didn't make sure the puppy was safe being outside alone....
loski87 4
you puppy killer!!!
curryish0tt 0
ur dad can't drive
howareyoulard 0
awwww that poor puppy, I at least hope you did something about it instead of driving off???
icecream777 0
um so what flavor ice-cream and did u just run over it and drive away if u did u should atleast tell ur dad to call animal control
tycoon96 0
ahahaha ****** hilarious XD
tycoon96 0
but poor puppy :(
lindseytaylor201 0
awwww! :'(
RakaI 8
You're sick, therefore you need cheering up? Be reasonable, daddy's little princess.
TheIrishJaneDoe 8
Did the mods edit this FML before I read it? Because I'm not seeing the word "need" in it anywhere, nor anything to indicate OP's a girl. People can do thoughtful things for you regardless of whether you expect or "need" them to.