Health, Dogs and Animals: Instant cure - FML

Instant cure

By Username - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff

Today, I had been sick all day, so to cheer me up my dad drove me to get ice cream. On our way back, we hit a puppy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 572

You deserved it 4 942

Father's Day: Daddy Chicken or Daddy Wet Hen?
Stories of extraordinary fathers, sometimes awkward but always hilarious. A family read! More…

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Same thing different taste

You played yourself

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Saint Paul

Today, I faked a sore throat for the school nurse so I could go home early. It took my dad the rest of the school day just to get there to pick me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 096

You deserved it 49 190

Second class citizen

By crapped on - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my family went on vacation. I had to stay home to take care of everyone's animals. I called my mom, who said she was too busy to talk to me. When my sister asked her who was on the phone, she replied, "The dog sitter." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 548

You deserved it 4 255

Rewind time

By supersmashpika - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Hershey

Today, while walking down the street, a truck hit a puddle and splashed me with water. After I cursed and flipped him off, he put his truck in reverse and splashed me again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 664

You deserved it 9 980

The ending of Lost explained

By Morgan - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I lost my dog. I looked around my neighborhood for hours, and found him under my bed asleep when I got home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 858

You deserved it 30 044

By Anonymous - 03/08/2016 18:01 - United States - Albuquerque

Today, my car broke down in the middle of nowhere. I walked about 3 miles to the nearest house to call a tow truck. When I got back to where I left my car, it was gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 240

You deserved it 1 253

Hands off parenting

By iloveyoutoomom - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - France

Today, my mom had an appointment with my teacher after class. She never showed. My teacher ended up driving me home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 595

You deserved it 3 572

A tad overbearing

By nehadrihan - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Oceanside

Today, my mom decided to follow me during my driving test. She rear ended me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 794

You deserved it 3 454

Self defence

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I went to my grandmother's house to pick up her cat to take him to the vet. She forgot who I was and sprayed me in the face with pepper spray. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 104

You deserved it 2 479

By uninvited - 04/02/2016 15:16 - United States - Boston

Today, my parents called me to ask if I could drop my dog off to them on Sunday. They're having a Superbowl party and want to show her off to their guests. My dog is invited, but I'm not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 253

You deserved it 1 747

Night on the tiles

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Ireland - Gorey

Today, I thought it would be a good idea to sneak out of work early and pay a little visit to the pub. I ended up staggering home, drunkenly making myself a nacho cheese dorito milkshake with the blender, then promptly puked my guts out all over the kitchen table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 977

You deserved it 46 583

Next

Top comments

eviiee_fml 3

Monday 26 July 2010 9:02

this is a fml for the dog not you. poor puppy :(

ActionManly 11

Monday 26 July 2010 9:03

What a CAT-astrophe! Wait, wrong pun...

Comments

PentiumBawls8 0

Tuesday 27 July 2010 8:35

Blame the owner for letting it get hit out on the streets. Puppies do not belong in roads for a chance for it to get destroyed. SMFH A high percentage of drivers drive like shit anyway.

lawnchairgeneral 1

Tuesday 27 July 2010 14:58

your sick all day, so eat ice cream? ice cream cheers you up? either your 5 years old or u must be a pig......

nkkataeva 0

Wednesday 28 July 2010 15:37

Umm. I don't know about OP, but I'm 17, slightly underweight, and eat ice cream when I'm not feeling great. It releases endorphins, there's nothing pig-like about it. Don't be an asshole.

asselhoff 5

Tuesday 27 July 2010 20:25

I'm calling FAKE on this FML...

xPedobear 0

Wednesday 28 July 2010 2:59

what flavor did you get?

brokenleghurts 0

Wednesday 28 July 2010 4:45

Is it bad if I find this funny? >_>

oxoashleeoxo 6

Wednesday 28 July 2010 22:36

Your dad has weird ways to cheer people up ... Poor puppy. :[

dem_mad 0

Thursday 29 July 2010 16:09

it's not a good idea to eat ice-cream when you're sick ...

xjerseyedge 0

Wednesday 4 August 2010 21:59

stupid mother ****** should have watched where the F U C K he was going stupid ass killed a defenseless dog, unbelievable.

Spoodler 6

Friday 1 July 2011 9:07

#241 Accidents like this happen all the time. It is not the OP's father's fault. Now, if he saw the puppy and sped UP to hit it, then your comment would be acceptable. But Dogs, cats, squirrels, ducks, deer, moose and other animals are always hit. It's life. No one is at fault. And, sorry to hear this OP. Even though I'm a year late for posting, I am sorry that happened to you. You must've been horrified. D:

HI_IH 0

Monday 9 August 2010 5:20

The Ice Cream was worth it.

SenoraC 0

Monday 9 August 2010 18:33

Accidents happen.

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Keywords

Cute Cats Animals Family Awkward Sex Intimacy Coworkers Alcohol Work Health Mental health Psychology Love AITA Relationship advice Weird Neighbours Miscellaneous Cops Scary Stressed out Parents Birthday Dogs Cake Embarrassing Cars Transportation Cooking

The Top

Today, a one-eyed drunken homeless man followed me around the store I work at, screaming at me because I turned down his sexual advances. My managers and coworkers wouldn't kick him out because they thought it was funny. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 696

You deserved it 2 107

Today, I had an awful day and angrily threw a glass at the wall. Needless to say, I didn't feel like cleaning it up, and I took a nap, intending to do it later. I thought I would remember the bits of glass everywhere when I woke up. I didn't, but my feet soon did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 580

You deserved it 66 655

The Top

Today, I had the misfortune of being left alone with my dad. He took it as an opportunity to tell me in detail all about his recent vasectomy, and the complications the surgeon had due to the scar tissue on my dad's testicles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 559

You deserved it 2 882

Today, I was in an elevator with my girlfriend when it stuck mid-floor. Being supportive, I went to hug her and tell her we'd be OK. Today I also learned that my girlfriend is deathly claustrophobic and her predominant reaction is to vomit. In this case, all over me. We were stuck for 2 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 287

You deserved it 3 745

Today, I learned I'm getting kicked out of the house for NOT dropping out of college. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 045

You deserved it 138

Today, I noticed that the floor outside our bathroom was covered in toenail clippings. I asked my husband what had happened. Turns out, he saves time by clipping his nails onto the floor and then sweeping them out into the hall, where they get lodged in the carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 853

You deserved it 460

Please don't make me get up.

I agree, your life sucks 308

You deserved it 99

Today, I passed a cashier when I came into a store. Later I passed him again as I was leaving, and he asked me if I needed help finding something because I had been in the store for a while. I told him I had been browsing upstairs, but in reality, I had been in the restroom the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 602

You deserved it 1 521