Today, I woke up crying in the middle of a nightmare in which my boyfriend of 8 months shot me through the heart whilst laughing as I screamed, "I love you." After I told him about this, he took me into his arms as I cried, stroked my back, and said, "What kind of gun was it?" FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, while walking downstairs to go to work, I turned the corner and my boyfriend pulled a gun on me. Apparently, he forgot I was there. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend keeps a gun under his pillow. This was only after my friends and I surprised him with his birthday cake while he was sleeping. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I went shooting. While I was showing him how to properly hold and adjust a rifle, he accidentally pulled the trigger. The gun kicked back and hit me in the face, breaking my nose. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he loves me. Instead of saying it back, I had a panic attack. FML
Today, I’m still recovering from last night. I fell asleep before my boyfriend. He thought it would be funny to stand at the bottom of the bed with a knife and wake me up. I screamed so much that I wet myself and had a panic attack. He recorded the whole thing. FML
Today, I woke up from a nightmare that I've been having for a couple of weeks. In the nightmare I'm shot four times in the back by none other than my mother. I'm getting worried. FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of 4 gunshots from downstairs. I screamed, hid under the bed in tears and called the cops. Turned out my boyfriend hadn't been murdered by a burglar like I thought - he'd found a tarantula in our living room and decided to feed it a face full of lead. FML
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night with a numb arm. When I tried to reposition it, it flew crazily and slapped my girlfriend in the face. My girlfriend, who was in a string of abusive relationships, and has severe PTSD. FML
Today, I was sleeping with my boyfriend and woke up in his arms to hear him say "Mom, Mom." FML
Today, my girlfriend informed me that during the night, I shot up in bed and whimpered tearfully, "I don't have anything for the fancy-dress!" She also decided to share this with all our friends. I'm never going to live this down. FML
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Top comments
Drew_V 0
lol I'm sorry thats pretty funny
H00K_M 8
But seriously...what kind of gun was it?
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Comments (156)
danmmcd 0
Well what kind of gun was it?? Of course he would want to know if he had something totally slick and badass, like that one in the matrix or something, it makes all the difference....
buttshapedfruit 0
lmfao!!! ur bf is awesome haha xD
FritoLovesYou 0
You sound like an over dramatic ****. YDI
GiddyXD 0
LMFAO??
Smilzen 0
After 8 months of hearing somebody say "whilst", I'd probably be sending subconscious "I'm going to shoot you" brainwaves, too. Or maybe semi-conscious. Or maybe emails.
tipple 0
What's your problem with "whilst"? Does it cause your brain stress to force the 41st word into your vocabulary?
Twichl 4
I don't think you're boyfriend meant anything by it, it was probably a joke.
addiesmybaby 0
hahahah omfg that's HiLARiOUS hah
kazaam 0
lol
SarcasticAvenger 9
And this is an fml how exactly?
ASHLEEBAYBEEx3 4
wow, this is an fml becausee ... ? your boyfriend was joking with you and made a joke you didnt like? its a fml because you dont have a sense of humor? did he hit youu too ? did he actually buy a gun and threaten to kill you ? this is not fml worthy - and i really wish he does get a gun and kill you >:( that will give you something to write about >;)