ACAB, Fraud, Cops and Work: I'm innocent, I swear!

I'm innocent, I swear!

By Anonymous - 16/07/2015 14:47 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I got a surprise raise and a promotion at work. Hours after accepting, our company was raided by police on fraud charges. Due to my new managerial position, I had to get grilled by cops. I may not have a job at all next week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 778

You deserved it 1 816

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
When lilies of the valley bring good luck... or not! Discover the stories behind every little bell! More…

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Same thing different taste

By unemployed - 18/10/2016 00:05 - United States - The Colony

Today, the store I work at got shut down and I got let go. Three days ago I got a promotion and a raise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 490

You deserved it 779

By Anonymous - 12/01/2011 05:09 - United States

Today, at the job I've had for eight years, I finally got the raise I was supposed to get a year ago. One hour later I found out the store was closing and we were all out of a job in two weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 469

You deserved it 2 245

By Sudokori - 07/09/2017 01:30

Today, my coworker paid me back the $15 I let him borrow and we shook hands. Later, I was called into my boss's office, where he threatened to fire me for doing a drug deal in front of customers. The police are getting involved. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 245

You deserved it 268

By Anonymous - 01/01/2009 18:21 - France

Today, my boss got a promotion and I got laid off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 938

You deserved it 2 212

Asshat

By Anonymous - 04/09/2019 14:00 - New Zealand

Today, my hours at work were slashed due to company wide cut backs. The only coworker unaffected was the asshat who stole my promotion after I'd trained them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 786

You deserved it 214

No one is safe

By chili - 24/07/2021 04:01

Today, I got mugged at work. The sad thing is I'm a cop and was trying to catch the people who mugged me previously while off duty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 851

You deserved it 314

By Anonymous - 24/08/2015 18:59 - United States

Today, I was just a few days away from starting the training for my promotion to management, which involved a healthy pay raise and full time benefits. Today, news came down that the company is filing for bankruptcy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 366

You deserved it 1 575

One step forward, two steps back.

By MJF - 24/01/2018 15:00

Today, my boss thanked me for all my hard work and promised me a raise and a promotion. Shortly thereafter, she sent out a memo announcing she'd sold the company. The new owner immediately came in to "restructure." I got demoted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 382

You deserved it 239

Money money money!

By ofcourse - 13/09/2009 06:12 - United States

Today, I got a promotion to management at work. My employer decided to give the 'non-management' employees a really nice raise. Which means the job I had before my promotion is now paying more than the job I have now. Did I just get demoted? FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 912

You deserved it 2 624

Close but no cigar

By bbb - 03/10/2012 16:19 - United States - Hillsborough

Today, after having tried for months to get a promotion at work, I finally had an interview for a higher position. Everything went great, and I was told I would get a call next week for my second interview. I went back to my desk, only to get an email stating they're canceling the position. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 871

You deserved it 1 602

Zebediabolical 39

Thursday 16 July 2015 20:13

If you don't know who the fall guy is... YOU'RE THE FALL GUY!

xmann277 13

Thursday 16 July 2015 20:15

Oh man, that is brutal. Really sorry that that happened.

Comments

greeneyebeauty9 28

Thursday 16 July 2015 20:21

Hopefully the cops know the situation before trying to put everything on you. Sorry bout that OP.

worldclassrager 39

Thursday 16 July 2015 20:22

Bad timing...very bad timing...sorry OP...hope things work out toward your favour...

ohSNAPyall 26

Thursday 16 July 2015 20:23

I smell a rat.

jojimugo 20

Thursday 16 July 2015 23:24

Get an exterminator

teapotrevolt 27

Thursday 16 July 2015 20:24

The surprise that keeps on coming!

dantee2005 33

Thursday 16 July 2015 20:28

PLEASE

bridges13 19

Thursday 16 July 2015 20:28

Looks like management set you up OP.

1stones 8

Thursday 16 July 2015 20:34

Wasnt that much of a raise lol you were the fall guy my friend :/

crackpotL 33

Thursday 16 July 2015 20:38

Congrats on your promotion to fall guy

Dom_Olivares 12

Thursday 16 July 2015 20:39

I know this is off topic but why do some FMLs have the comments closed? Does that happen when somebody says something bad or what?

olpally 32

Thursday 16 July 2015 20:51

Someone made a boo boo. Yikes.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, it's been a year since my wife agreed to an open marriage. A friend said at the time that she would get a lot more sex than me, and would end up leaving me. I ignored him because he's a basement dwelling Trump supporter who's never had a girlfriend. Turns out he was completely right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 97

You deserved it 984

Today, I took a girl on a date. This girl is tiny, about 4 ft 10 and petite. She ordered a 16 inch pizza, garlic bread, wings, fries, and multiple drinks, and damn if she didn’t eat every bite of it, it was impressive. Until we were screwing later and she vomited the whole meal down my chest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 538

You deserved it 164

The Top

Today, my sister took me out shopping for my birthday and had been drinking a Monster the whole day. Halfway back home, I took a sip of it and she screamed, but it was too late. I had drunk the phlegm that she spat into the can earlier. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 605

You deserved it 953

Today, my family said that we're all in this together, so I headed over to their house before the stay-at-home orders go into effect. When I arrived, my brother came out to stop me in the driveway to say they were practicing social distancing. From me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 799

You deserved it 219

Today, I was in a restroom sitting on the toilet, when the guy right next to me noticed my AC/DC boxers around my ankles and started to sing "Back in Black." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 604

You deserved it 10 523

Today, I woke up crying in the middle of a nightmare in which my boyfriend of 8 months shot me through the heart whilst laughing as I screamed 'I Love You'. After I told him about this, he took me into his arms as I cried, stroked my back and said, 'What kind of gun was it?' FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 859

You deserved it 7 289

Today, my family and I visited my cousins in Virginia. When we arrived, we found that they already had guests over. I've stuttered my whole life, so when they asked me what my name was, I stuttered for several seconds trying to say my name. Everyone burst out laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 176

You deserved it 3 833

Today, I arrived at my college dorm. To help me sleep, I listened to my local radio from my phone. Little did I know, they turn off the wifi for part of the night, and hours of music were streamed onto my phone. Guess who now owes the phone company all my money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 613

You deserved it 12 243