Seems like they planned that. Have fun with unemployment!

April fools! :D

ouch

Then you'd better work 24/7 in this next two weeks to get the most out of the raise!

Yeah, it does seem like your manager was adding insult to injury with that.

On top of the raise, the store is legally bound to pay you compensation for closure!

Boo fucking ho about the raise. Now you know exactly why you didn't get it. The store was so deep in the red that it couldn't even pay you what it was already.

True that

The raise that you where supposed to get a year ago? If you didn't get it a year ago then you weren't supposed to have it a year ago. At least they showed their appreciation for you by giving you some extra cash before closing down when they did not have to do so.

Steal everything they have!

SURPRISE....!?

It's ok, I hear a lot of Butt Plug Emporiums are going out of business. People just don't seem to need them in this economy. I would advise you to seek a job in the prostitution sector. No matter how bad things get, there will always be greasy, creepy guys who are desperate enough to pay an overweight, 4-toothed skank for sex.

Lovely

That's what you get for working retail. Next time, get a real job.

Your clothes, food, and the computer you're reading this on all magically appeared out of thin air, or did you buy them from - oh, I don't know - a shop?

Anyone who works eight years at retail is fail.

Anyone who uses the phrase "is fail" without realizing that "fail" is a verb is a complete failure.

I am planning on working retail for many, many years between teaching; how is that fail?

If she's been working eight years at the same location, presumably she lacks the ambition to do any of what you mentioned.