Animals: I bet you're wondering how I ended up here - FML

I bet you're wondering how I ended up here

By Nekro_Kat - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I got caught trying to steal my own cat back from my neighbor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 110

You deserved it 3 960

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Same thing different taste

Cat Burglar!

By Aimee Lutz - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, I found my lost cat. As I was hooking it up to a leash to get it in my car, a man approached and asked what I was doing. His kids alerted him that there was a woman stealing their cat from their front lawn. It was not my cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 424

You deserved it 1 348

Nice try, Janet

By Anonymous - 06/04/2014 19:37

Today, I witnessed my psycho neighbor put her cat in a cage, cross into my backyard, and set the cage down before returning to her house. She then called the cops and claimed I'd stolen her cat. The cops didn't believe my side of the story for a second. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 794

You deserved it 3 517

By awesome - 21/09/2010 04:49 - United States

Today, I ran over my neighbors' cat. I didn't want it to look like I killed it, so I put it under my other neighbor's car so it would look like they ran over it. The cat's owners were watching me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 334

You deserved it 81 403

LET ME IN!

By Sam - 15/11/2024 20:00 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, my cat somehow managed to lock me out of my apartment by jumping on the doorknob while I was taking the trash out. I had to call a locksmith, and now it's like my cat won't even come near at me, like I betrayed him for allowing a stranger into our home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 314

You deserved it 140

By disappointment son - 19/05/2017 12:00

Today, I caught and kicked a shoplifter out of my store. The shoplifter was my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 505

You deserved it 249

By Fought The Law - 29/10/2011 04:51 - United States

Today, my elderly neighbor called the police because my cat was in her yard. I now have a citation and a court date. Apparently, there is a leash law for cats in my town, and it is taken very seriously. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 213

You deserved it 6 184

By The_Waffle - 14/05/2016 17:17 - United States - Cleveland

Today, my dog ran away. Luckily my neighbors caught him before he got too far. Now they won't give him back because they think I did something to him to make him want to run away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 604

You deserved it 920

By kittynapper - 17/07/2014 23:32 - United States - Denver

Today, I found out that my cat, that I've had for 3 years, is actually my neighbor's missing cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 523

You deserved it 6 884

By oneiPodlighter - 10/10/2013 03:03 - United States - Conshohocken

Today, my "friend" came over. I caught him trying to steal my iPod on the way out. Proud of myself for catching him, I asked him to leave, only to realize that I had forgotten to actually take the iPod back from him before he left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 981

You deserved it 24 830

Arnold Layne

By Anonymous - 28/04/2025 12:00 - United States - Portland

Today, my cat brought me a “gift” by dragging in a sock from my neighbor’s porch. It was a child's sock. I took it back to them, but I'm pretty sure the neighbor now thinks I steal clothes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 320

You deserved it 106

Next

Top comments

Nikki_ASW 0

Wednesday 10 August 2011 8:54

If it's your cat how is it stealing?

Jvr91 8

Wednesday 10 August 2011 8:53

Shit got real

Comments

J_Shorty_17 6

Wednesday 10 August 2011 14:44

microchip your cat next time :) or have a collar and id tag, maybe no one would think it's homeless.FYL

birds_fml 7

Wednesday 10 August 2011 14:47

If you didn't let your cat wander all over the damn neighborhood, maybe your neighbors wouldn't have taken in that poor stray that keeps coming to their door and crying.

Nekro_kat 1

Thursday 18 August 2011 6:44

Ass hole.

hillary6 15

Wednesday 10 August 2011 15:10

Did you get your pussy back?

sparxva 12

Wednesday 10 August 2011 15:11

If it was your cat then it wasn't stealing. But if you entered your neighbor's house then it was probably trespassing.

pfx2_fml 15

Wednesday 10 August 2011 16:13

You shoulda went in guns blazing

pfx2_fml 15

Wednesday 10 August 2011 16:18

You shoulda went in guns blazing

jerico616 14

Wednesday 10 August 2011 18:22

Cats suck and they just aren't worth it!

Calyx_fml 21

Wednesday 10 August 2011 19:15

YDI. Cats don't belong to anyone, no matter how much you paid for them. They choose to stay with you until they choose to stay with someone else. They aren't loyal like dogs.

dewlover33 3

Thursday 11 August 2011 1:07

Sounds like spongebob.

plopyer10 8

Thursday 11 August 2011 1:22

Snurf

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The Top

Today, while showering with my boyfriend, he asked if something was weird about his penis. Naturally, I looked closer. As soon as I did, he sprayed my face with urine. This is only the beginning; we just moved in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 157

You deserved it 9 863

Today, I conveniently "forgot" to write down a bunch of stuff, including a huge kebab, in my Weight Watchers food journal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 485

You deserved it 2 184

Today, I was hitting on a girl who was getting ready to walk into the same class as me. We were waiting outside the room, so I told her that I'd heard the professor for the course was a total bitch. We walked into the room. I sat down at a desk. She stood behind the podium. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 923

You deserved it 38 883

Today, I decided to try LSD with a few friends in a safe environment. As an artist, I had planned to spend my trip doing psychedelic paintings and had all my supplies set up. Apparently I spent most of my time in fetal position muttering about the "evil easel" and never even touched my canvas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 900

You deserved it 57 089

Today, a colleague was telling me she still breastfeeds her 4 year-old son, and that she has breastfed kids of her neighbours too. She kept talking about it and I ended up staring at her ample breasts. She noticed and asked me if I wanted too. Now I don’t know what to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 396

You deserved it 289

Today, I went to a fancy restaurant and couldn't pronounce any of the menu items. FML

I agree, your life sucks 456

You deserved it 566