Intimacy: Hot and heavy

Hot and heavy

By Lickmylovepump - 19/01/2012 04:09 - United States

Today, my boyfriend insisted that we try phone sex. He started telling me all the things he wanted to do to me while breathing heavily. Unfortunately, it sounded so ridiculous, I burst out laughing. He hung up on me, and has refused to pick up since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 432

You deserved it 35 551

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Same thing different taste

By Noname - 27/01/2009 11:22 - United States

Today, my boyfriend fell asleep during phone sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 335

You deserved it 28 314

By 504-A1 - 11/05/2012 22:02 - Canada - Barrie

Today, I was having phone sex with my boyfriend. Trying to be sexy, I told him what I was doing with my vibrator. I heard a loud bang, followed by him shouting, "Why don't you just fucking marry it, then?!" and then hanging up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 480

You deserved it 10 406

So hott

By facepalm - 27/02/2009 08:39 - Singapore

Today, I was having phone sex with my boyfriend. About halfway through he went really quiet and started breathing heavily. I thought he was about to climax until I discovered he had fallen asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 730

You deserved it 15 160

By picturemenakedbaby - 21/07/2009 10:42 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were on the phone. He started talking dirty, and saying how horny he was, etc. So I decided to play along and said "I want you to picture me naked, baby." All of a sudden I heard a huge sigh. He responded, "Ew, that just killed it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 946

You deserved it 12 716

By Anonymous - 14/04/2014 03:17 - United States

Today, I was talking dirty with my husband over the phone while he was out of town. I started to verbally act out his fantasy and got quite into it. I was returned with silence. Embarrassed, I tried to hang up. Turns out the call had already been dropped, five minutes prior. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 964

You deserved it 7 868

Phoney sex

By Anonymous - 09/03/2020 08:00

Today, after having some great, intimate phone sex with my boyfriend, he immediately said, "Well, gotta go," and hung up. Thanks for making me feel like some sort of phone-hooker, dude. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 242

You deserved it 594

By Anonymous - 16/05/2012 20:34 - Netherlands - Kerkrade

Today, I called my boyfriend during his lunch break. He started to place his order at a fast food joint, and trying to be funny, I started moaning sexily after each part of his order. I eventually realised I was on speaker when I heard snickering in the background. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 736

You deserved it 32 273

Kinky

By 9gingerface66 - 15/01/2012 06:29 - United States

Today, after finally getting up the confidence, I started talking really dirty to my boyfriend on the phone. I was getting really onto it, and he seemed to enjoy it too. Then I stopped for a second to gauge his reaction. He was snoring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 848

You deserved it 4 676

By JRLJLS - 15/04/2013 09:09 - United States - Lehigh Acres

Today, I had phone sex with my boyfriend. He had an asthma attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 937

You deserved it 11 512

By Bucko321 - 30/03/2009 01:18 - Canada

Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend. We were feeling a little naughty, so we started talking dirty. I was really into describing a sweaty sex scene, when I heard my dad cough. He had picked up the phone to make a call and had heard it all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 707

You deserved it 78 242

Epsilonyx 15

Thursday 19 January 2012 8:57

I'd assume someone with the name "Lickmylovepump" would be an extremely horny and open minded person.

ILoveMyXbox 0

Thursday 19 January 2012 8:57

Phone sex is awkward and weird in my opinion. I honestly don't blame you for laughing, because I would have to :P

Comments

FirstTigerHobbes 13

Thursday 19 January 2012 9:00

Doesn't matter ha--- *Gets shot in face*

FruityLoooons 8

Thursday 19 January 2012 9:26

What?

GoW_Chick 14

Thursday 19 January 2012 9:35

11- was just trying to say... Doesn't matter had s- *gets beheaded by ninja.

FirstTigerHobbes 13

Thursday 19 January 2012 9:38

41- ah yes, thank you my good friend :3 But although, I do believe I felt a bullet

moop256 10

Thursday 19 January 2012 22:40

It wasn't a ninja it was a Chinese guy in a black bathrobe you racists

dixiefoxx 22

Thursday 19 January 2012 9:01

Just bite your lip next time, so then you won't laugh, and he won't be mad at you, it's a win-win situation :)

fattylumptard 1

Thursday 19 January 2012 9:01

My girlfriend would do that to me too

Mister_Triangle 21

Thursday 19 January 2012 10:08

My hands physically can't laugh at me; also, I can't really call them Advantage: forever alone

chesoes 8

Thursday 19 January 2012 9:01

Lmao !!! U should of went along with it but i guess u tried (:

ninjuh_wingman 29

Thursday 19 January 2012 9:02

If it was terrible over the phone, imagine what itd be like if you actually did it.

GoW_Chick 14

Thursday 19 January 2012 9:03

He thought he was being sexy, but you killed his confidence, it will be okay, just try and apologize, and next time try sexting so you don't have to hear that loud stalker breathing that makes you giggle.