Intimacy: Hot and… greasy - FML

Hot and… greasy

By cortanaisahobot - 19/07/2012 20:29 - Canada - Toronto

Spicy

Today, I told my boyfriend I wanted to spice up our sex life. He suggested incorporating bacon. He was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 643

You deserved it 6 211

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 02/06/2012 10:24 - United Kingdom - Northampton

Spicy

Today, I said to my boyfriend that he makes the same noises when he smells bacon as he does when we have sex. Now everytime we have sex, he whispers "Bacon..." in my ear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 245

You deserved it 32 721

By ch4nny - 29/08/2014 01:47 - Australia - Sydney

Today, my boyfriend was stroking my stomach and looking into my eyes. It was very romantic, until he grabbed my love handles and said, "Mmmm... bacon..." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 248

You deserved it 5 686

And they say romance is dead…

By BaconBreathBlonde - 30/10/2009 00:33 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were making out, holding hands, and he was playing with a strand of my hair. I thought the whole thing was very romantic. He then said he loved how my mouth tasted like bacon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 034

You deserved it 7 724

Kinky

By Anonymous - 11/08/2022 22:00

Spicy

Today, my husband asked if we could try food play during sex. I okayed it, thinking it would be the standard squirty cream or chocolate sauce. Let’s just say I was not expecting him to be eating crispy bacon and blue cheese sauce off my boobs. Good Lord, I married a weirdo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 188

You deserved it 526

By fuck no - 22/08/2015 10:18 - India - Kollam

Spicy

Today, my husband wanted to use bacon grease as lube. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 224

You deserved it 8 021

By confused - 28/09/2011 04:55 - Australia

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend told me that having sex with me was as good as eating crispy bacon. I don't know if I should feel complimented. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 205

You deserved it 8 722

Dad jokes

By phoenix101 - 16/05/2011 05:40

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend asked if we could spice up our sex life. She didn't think it was too funny when I laid out all of our spices on the bed. She now refuses to have sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 008

You deserved it 67 173

By JK - 01/02/2010 00:24 - United States

Today, my boyfriend admitted that he'd like to dress me in a squirrel suit and chase me through the forest. This was the surprising result of a discussion on how to spice up our love life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 958

You deserved it 4 728

That kidnapped kink

By georgiahick - 30/12/2010 14:09

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend asked me to 'spice things up in the bedroom'. When I asked how, he said I could try wearing a paper bag over my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 817

You deserved it 6 106

By sissydlk - 02/12/2010 15:54 - United States

Spicy

Today, my wonderful boyfriend asked me if I wanted him to cook me scrambled eggs with sausage for breakfast. When I said yes, he pulled out his junk, and started shaking it violently in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 265

You deserved it 10 371

Next

Top comments

XtraEzeee 8

Friday 20 July 2012 1:17

Of course he's serious. Bacon is no laughing matter.

mike14991499 9

Friday 20 July 2012 1:16

You can't ruin sex with bacon, right?

Comments

LaBooskie 1

Friday 20 July 2012 1:24

Wow, My bf said, the very samething to me a year ago. I learned that you don't joke about Bacon with men. Lol

greenie213 23

Friday 20 July 2012 1:24

Bacon makes everything better.

greenie213 23

Friday 20 July 2012 1:27

Damn! Someone beat me to it!

laden_swallow09 34

Friday 20 July 2012 2:44

Don't get upset. It's worth saying twice.

tehcyberman 9

Friday 20 July 2012 1:24

You can never go wrong with bacon.

admaspaz17 4

Friday 20 July 2012 1:27

That's hilarious!!! :)

DocBastard 38

Friday 20 July 2012 1:28

So when he said he wants to pork you, he was serious.

dude1122332 9

Friday 20 July 2012 7:04

You get me so hot and greasy.

SqueakyChipmunk 21

Friday 20 July 2012 22:43

Squeal for me, baby. Oh god, that was horrible.

emmaweeee 0

Friday 20 July 2012 1:28

There's nothing wrong with that combination, bacon is orgasmic eating it on its own, but throwing sex into the mix would only heighten that pleasurable experience

Alphakhiash 13

Friday 20 July 2012 1:29

I don't see the FML.

Sandsh8rk 36

Friday 20 July 2012 1:29

Sounds like a pretty good idea to me...

dude1122332 9

Friday 20 July 2012 1:31

If that isn't love, I don't know what is.

ironheart98 14

Friday 20 July 2012 1:32

bacon is awesome and goes with everything

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The Top

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 41 273

You deserved it 3 838

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You deserved it 969

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I agree, your life sucks 784

You deserved it 73

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I agree, your life sucks 1 101

You deserved it 306