Today, my friend and I went to a bar for drinks. I noticed this cute girl and went over to say "Hi." I had a great conversation with her and I asked for her number before she left. She passed it to me on a piece of paper with instructions specifying for my friend to call her and not me. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I saw a cute girl at a bar and decided to go and chat her up. After charming her with my usual crap for a while, I told her she was really pretty, and asked for her number. She replied, "You asshole, I met you here a year ago and gave you my number, and you never called me." FML
Today, trying to be smooth, I slipped the girl I like a piece of paper with my phone number written on it. A while later, she slipped it back to me and left the room. FML
Today, a very pretty girl came up to me and asked me for my phone number. Very pleased, I give it to her with a huge smile and tell her that I can be reached at any time. I then watch her go back to her group of friends. My number was for her gay friend, who then meekly waved at me. FML
Today, I took a friend out for what I thought was date. After dinner was over and I paid, she pulled the bill out and wrote her name phone number on it for the waiter. FML
Today, I asked a girl for her number and I wrote it down when she gave it to me. When I called her, it wasn't her. She'd given me a restaurant's phone number. FML
Today, I met a cute girl at a dance club. I entered her number in my phone just before she left the club. With a proud smile, I turned the screen towards my buddy, showing off my accomplishment. Attempting to give me a friendly pat he accidentally closed my phone. I hadn't saved the number. FML
Today, I left my number on my receipt for a cute waitress. As I was leaving the bar, she came running out and called me over. I obviously got excited. Turns out I'd forgotten to sign my slip. FML
Today, I looked in my pocket for the phone number of a girl I met last night at a party. I remembered us talking and exchanging phone numbers. When I found the piece of paper, I discovered that instead of writing her number down, I had drunkenly written down my own. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend out to eat at a diner where my friend works. My friend was our waiter but too busy to talk much. He texted me after we'd left to tell me that my girlfriend had slipped him her number. FML
Today, I was at a club with a friend. A cute guy kept smiling and looking over at me. He left his seat and went to the bar and brought back two drinks. He waved me over and then said, "Can you tell your hot friend that I bought her a drink?" FML
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Top comments
brill 3
that's so insulting :( you should give someone else her number instead of your friend :)
brunocbreis 0
You're disturbingly creepy D:
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Comments (64)
JJawbreakerr 0
May the fleas of a thousand camels infest the crotch of the girl who rejected you and may her arms be to short to scratch. Obviously, she wasn't worth it. Sorry. (:
whooooop 0
that suckksss
wi_party_boy 0
YDI for not having a cell phone. This is 2009, dumbass
CheshireHalli 19
What does that have to do with anything?
wi_party_boy 0
Had he owned a cell phone, there would be no use for a piece of paper, so he would just enter the number into his cell phone without any inconvenience.
hothotheat_ 13
what if it was broken? or dead? or lost?
sacredpoppy 0
Why even bother arguing with this fool? wi_party_boy is just an idiot.
wi_party_boy 0
Thanks douche bag. I was sarcastic, by the way.
Vagrarian 2
She's insensitive and rude and a user. Throw her number away and forget about her. If you meet again and she asks you why your friend didn't call, just say, "Hey, I'm not his pimp, go talk to him yourself, *****."
RAMBabyyy 0
I'm sorry, OP. That's pretty shitty. But if you were the one who approached her and talked to her, and she was still interested in your friend, you have no game. :x
xHaniffax 0
Yeah we've had this FML about a million times just worded differently.....still that sucks.
sacredpoppy 0
Tell me about it. Trollkiller is definitely a complete moron. I'm still laughing at his stupidity. :D
Jessticle85 0
u should prank call the shit outta her haha
allmidnighteyes 10
Hahahahahahahahahaha Look on the bright side - At least she didn't give you the number to the Soulja Boi Hotline like what happened to that one person a while ago on this site.
JokerJohn7 0
well, that sucks