Health, Pregnancy and Dogs: Help!

Help!

By Anonymous - 23/04/2013 11:25 - United States

Today, my pregnant wife paged my emergency line at work. Thinking she was in serious danger, I raced home and found her hysterically crying. When I asked her what was going on, she replied, "The dogs won't stop barking!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 961

You deserved it 6 421

Mother's Day: Sweets and Bummers
Between disastrous breakfasts in bed and unusual gifts, Mother's Day is an inexhaustible source of laughter. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Hello from the other side

By losthusband - 11/10/2020 20:01 - United States

Today, my pregnant wife and I got separated while out shopping. She ended up having meltdown and crying so hard the manager had to call me over the PA. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 153

You deserved it 198

By Tristan Brantley - 11/03/2012 07:36 - United States

Today, I called my wife from work to check in on her because she's eight months pregnant. She didn't answer. Instead she showed up at my work hysterically crying and screaming, "You don't love me because I'm a fat whale!" She then knocked everything off my desk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 916

You deserved it 3 377

HUMAN! I NEED ATTENTION!

By Mur - 09/09/2023 22:00

Today, my girlfriend called me four times in a row at work. Worried, I stepped outside and answered the phone. Through tears, she screamed, "It's the cat!" Was he sick or hurt? "NO! He won't stop meowing!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 632

You deserved it 122

By Anonymous - 11/12/2014 21:47 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I got to experience the horror of my wife's pregnancy. She woke me up abruptly at 5 am by throwing up all over me due to her terrible morning sickness, then ate pickles covered in mayonnaise, and later dropped to the floor sobbing when I told her we were out of dog food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 327

You deserved it 5 285

By what-the-what - 29/10/2017 13:00 - United States - Mount Pleasant

Today, my mother called me at work, freaking out about my dog, so I panicked. What was wrong? He had a hard-on and she'd never seen that happen before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 775

You deserved it 298

By letmediealready - 22/12/2017 19:00

Today I saved my wife's puppy from drowning in an icy pond and I ended up in the ER struggling to breath from the water in my lungs. When my wife showed up to see me, I caught her flirting with my doctor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 756

You deserved it 337

The bed is lava

By for better or for farts - 06/08/2020 23:01

Today, my very pregnant wife woke up in bed, grabbing her stomach and writhing in pain. Worried that the baby might be in distress, I asked her what was wrong. She gasped then let out what can only be described as a river of hot liquid shit all over herself and my legs. We both cried. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 394

You deserved it 198

By Stressed dad - 18/07/2017 20:00

Today, my wife's water broke so I drove her to the hospital. After 16 hours without labor, I went home to get a little sleep. Four hours later I got the call and ran outside to find that my car was towed from my parking space. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 076

You deserved it 1 024

Understandable

By whytetrash - 02/11/2012 05:53 - Australia - Newcastle

Today, my manager made me stay at work for an extra four hours, making me miss an urgent specialist appointment I'd scheduled months ago. Why? Because her neighbor's dog was having puppies, and she wanted to go home early and see them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 890

You deserved it 2 887

By Lentil - 31/01/2012 13:13 - Australia

Today, I went over to my neighbours' to politely complain about their dog, which had been barking non-stop for hours. This issue has been going on for months, and I finally decided today, of all days, was the day to resolve it. When I got there, they'd just got home from giving birth at the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 320

You deserved it 3 926

Lizardgirl 7

Tuesday 23 April 2013 16:51

I can't help but feel bad for OP's wife too. The poor woman must be full of hormones and is probably on an emotional rollercoaster right now.

BeccaHugs 17

Tuesday 23 April 2013 16:50

I sympathize with her: dogs that bark for hours on end are incredibly annoying and frustrating. But think of it this way: if your wife had not called you, eventually your neighbours would have.