Heavy

Today, I was awakened by the sound of chain-saws. Moments later a tree branch came through my roof. FML

Wind? Thief? Hit and run?

Today, I woke up and found that the tree in my front yard was gone. FML

Windy Williams

Today, I woke up at 4AM to the sound of lightning hitting a tree in my backyard, then that tree proceeding to hit my house. Later, my neighbor's tree fell over, which hit our fence, and they're not even home. FML

Today, I woke up lying on the ground outside with a horrible headache. I camped out in my tree house last night. FML

Today, my family and I were going to start moving into our old house, and the large two hundred year old tree decided to move in too... through the roof. FML

Too little, too late

Today, I finally went to Home Depot to buy a chainsaw to cut down the tree leaning dangerously over my garage. When I got home, I found the tree had fallen and taken out the roof while I was shopping. FML

Today, a storm dropped a tree across my road. I would have moved it with my tractor, but there was a tree on that too. FML

The Laws of Attraction

Today, I was skiing and crashed into a tree. It was the only tree on the slope. FML

Today, I got home to find my truck smashed by a fallen old tree. I was going to have the tree removed next week. FML

Today, I cut down a dead tree in my yard. The top hit the ground and the base seesawed up in the air and came down on my head. I hit the ground like a sack of flour. Fortunately, the wood was rotted and soft. Unfortunately, the chainsaw was still running. 28 stitches in my calf. FML