Today, I horribly lost a game of basketball against my dad. It wouldn't have been so humiliating if he hadn't been piss drunk at the time. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I caught my dad sneaking a drink of whiskey outside, shortly before my wedding. I asked if he was seriously getting drunk at a time like this. He looked at me and scoffed, "It's the only way I'm gonna get through this stupid shit." FML
Today, my older brother said that if he beat me in a game of NBA 2k17, he would get to keep my PS4. I beat him so badly that he got angry and destroyed my PlayStation. FML
Today, my drinking problem became apparent when my daughter asked for a glass of juice, and I instinctively poured a large glass of scotch instead. FML
Today, I realized that my 3 year-old son, who is being potty trained, has better aim standing up to pee than his 30 year-old father. FML
Today, I had to announce to the whole house that I was going the bathroom, because the lock on the door is broken. Before I had the chance to wipe, my dad loudly burst through the door, stark bollock naked, to take a shower. FML
Today, my husband and I woke up to see my drunk mother passed out on our couch. She was wearing nothing but socks. FML
Today, I was arguing with my dad. I called him a geriatric fool. He replied with, "Well at least I know who my biological father is." I have no idea if he's joking. FML
Today, my dad has decided to that as a New Year's resolution, he's going to strive to wear pants less often. It's only been an hour and I can already tell it's going to be a long year. FML
Today, I had been sick all day, so to cheer me up my dad drove me to get ice cream. On our way back, we hit a puppy. FML
Today, I found out that my dad is actually my uncle, and vice-versa. FML
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Top comments
xlord 27
Well hopefully he was too drunk to remember kicking your ass.
ladytigerhunts 20
#3: The most wtf reply I've ever seen.
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Comments (40)
TanzWolf 26
Dude, drunk people can do some amazing shit.
jake_braves 25
OP, is your dad Michael Jordan? Lol
sarah5745 41
Were you drunk too? If not, get some practice in..
EmpireCityRay 13
Baring he has legs that can move, let him stick to a fool's game like soccer.
EmilyEAB 8
ball til you fall man
ohSNAPyall 27
Did you lose the pissing contest too?
PenguinBitch 44
Dad's poor coordination > NBA level basketball skills/tricks.
EmpireCityRay 13
@OP Haha you deserved it! You thought you'd win against your father in his inebriated state -damn you s*ck in basketball. On your next game versus a crackhead, I have my money on the latter, lmao
MegasaurusRex89 28
So are all people from the Bronx actually this obnoxiously rude, or are you just another stereotype?
stewpididiot 11
Really?? Get some skills!!! Or... STFU &uit whining
WolfyGrace 24
Well, there's always room for improvement...
EmpireCityRay 13
@OP Once while my high school varsity football team, one of my teammates asked me to ask the crackhead teen who'd sneak into school how many push-ups can his granddad perform. So I went over, pose the question and was chased. I found out later his grandpa had no arms; smh but true story.