Today, I was assigned to work on a huge project with Michael. Michael refers to himself in the third person, constantly mumbles unintelligibly to himself, doesn't smile, laugh or make eye contact, and refuses to address me directly. I'll be stuck with him for about four months. FML
Collection
College Life
Packed lecture halls, a sketchy roommate and frat parties: welcome to college, the real thing.
Today, and for the past three months, I've been stuck in a group project with three students who spend 90% of their time talking to each other. This project is mandatory to graduate, and a team effort is practically required in order to do well. I can already feel senioritis kicking in. FML
Today, the girl who tormented my life for nine years was hired at my part-time job. We're assigned to work together on a three-month-long project which will involve tons of communication. FML
Today, I got paired up with a coworker for a three-month project. All he talks about is how attractive my girlfriend is and what he would do with her. FML
Today, I had the Monday meeting that I have had every week for 8 months. We had new people joining today. One of my bosses went around the room introducing people, and he forgot my name. I've been sitting across from him with a nametag for 8 months. FML
Today, I was assigned to a group of four to brainstorm ideas for a project. One by one they listed their ideas, but when it was my turn they skipped me. They suddenly started a casual conversation with each other, oblivious of my existence, while I sat quietly between them for an hour. FML
Today, my boss shouted and screamed at me for my fuck ups that have humiliated the company and cost thousands to put right. It was only when he paused that I was able to tell him he had the wrong guy, he wanted my coworker down the hall. I’ve been here for four years and he still doesn’t know my name. FML
Today, like most days, I spent my lunch break with a sandwich in one hand while typing with the other, trying to keep up with my work load, while my coworker took a nap. We're supposed to be doing the same job, but he refuses to learn most of the software. The boss is fine with this. FML
Today, the cafe lady misnamed me Michael. I corrected her and jokingly exclaimed that Michael must be really handsome if she mistook me for him. She simply responded, “No, not really.” FML
Today, my manager mentioned that she'd hired a "cute boy" to help me out at work with paperwork. The "cute boy" was my ex-fiancé and now I have to be with him in an office for 30 some hours a week while his current fiancée brings him lunch everyday. FML
Today, I finally noticed that my new coworker, with whom I have to share an office, starts every sentence with, "I mean…", then a pause, then says whatever he has to say. I can't un-notice it now, and it's like hearing nails on a chalkboard. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
DocBastard 40
DocBastard approves of Michael.
bmkc4 1
Maybe he is autistic
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (175)
Gauzl 2
Sounds like down syndrome, what number can he count to? If his answer is potato then yes he has down syndrome
maggieabc 0
Michael could be special needs, don't judge.
JRSOne 5
OP: you are michael, aren't you?
icodyonline 4
Are you Michael? Lol
iwadasn 33
Michael sounds like he has autism. Maybe you should try to be more understanding.
vhivfe 3
If he has a mental disorder should he be separated from the people without mental disorders?
Sweetpea22 14
Um...A lot of people with handicaps are mainstreamed, ASSHOLE
Shilokitten666 19
Hes probably autisic or mental handicapped, shame on u for judging him it may not be his fault hes that way
ZombieKitteh 8
Hmmm. Is Michael a house elf? He sounds like Kreacher from Harry Potter.
nmartinez2018 10
Does your name happen to be michael?
demonddm 24
i recommend laxatives and itching powder