Today, I was assigned to work on a huge project with Michael. Michael refers to himself in the third person, constantly mumbles unintelligibly to himself, doesn't smile, laugh or make eye contact, and refuses to address me directly. I'll be stuck with him for about four months. FML
Collection
College Life
Packed lecture halls, a sketchy roommate and frat parties: welcome to college, the real thing.
Today, and for the past three months, I've been stuck in a group project with three students who spend 90% of their time talking to each other. This project is mandatory to graduate, and a team effort is practically required in order to do well. I can already feel senioritis kicking in. FML
Today, the girl who tormented my life for nine years was hired at my part-time job. We're assigned to work together on a three-month-long project which will involve tons of communication. FML
Today, I got paired up with a coworker for a three-month project. All he talks about is how attractive my girlfriend is and what he would do with her. FML
Today, I had the Monday meeting that I have had every week for 8 months. We had new people joining today. One of my bosses went around the room introducing people, and he forgot my name. I've been sitting across from him with a nametag for 8 months. FML
Today, I was assigned to a group of four to brainstorm ideas for a project. One by one they listed their ideas, but when it was my turn they skipped me. They suddenly started a casual conversation with each other, oblivious of my existence, while I sat quietly between them for an hour. FML
Today, my boss shouted and screamed at me for my fuck ups that have humiliated the company and cost thousands to put right. It was only when he paused that I was able to tell him he had the wrong guy, he wanted my coworker down the hall. I’ve been here for four years and he still doesn’t know my name. FML
Today, like most days, I spent my lunch break with a sandwich in one hand while typing with the other, trying to keep up with my work load, while my coworker took a nap. We're supposed to be doing the same job, but he refuses to learn most of the software. The boss is fine with this. FML
Today, the cafe lady misnamed me Michael. I corrected her and jokingly exclaimed that Michael must be really handsome if she mistook me for him. She simply responded, “No, not really.” FML
Today, my manager mentioned that she'd hired a "cute boy" to help me out at work with paperwork. The "cute boy" was my ex-fiancé and now I have to be with him in an office for 30 some hours a week while his current fiancée brings him lunch everyday. FML
Today, I finally noticed that my new coworker, with whom I have to share an office, starts every sentence with, "I mean…", then a pause, then says whatever he has to say. I can't un-notice it now, and it's like hearing nails on a chalkboard. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
DocBastard approves of Michael.
bmkc4 1
Maybe he is autistic
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Comments (175)
dramaelf 37
Is he possibly Gollum? Hope you aren't a hobbit.
hqbrat 8
Michael thinks Michael is cool like that.... He's not
neuroticallyyour_fml 17
Sounds like me (I have Asperger's Syndrome ) but I don't refer to myself in third person. OP, don't look at it so negatively. I know us aspies are difficult if you don't understand us but I can almost guarantee you Michael is really smart and has a lot to bring to your project if you give him the chance.
kimg0885 23
Refer to him as " The Micheal"
mizuki123 8
He probably has some form of asperger. Give him a break, he probably can't help it.
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
Poor kid probably needs friends. Be nice to him, OP.
KingCeltic77 18
Michael has read this FML and knows it is about him. Michael is not pleased.
unknown_user5566 27
This reminds me of a character in the book "Empire Falls" by Richard Russo, named John Voss. **Spoiler Alert** John Voss kills a teacher, a cop, a student, paralyzes another student, and attempts to kill the one person who tried to be friends with him. Run now, OP. Run like the wind.
Danilovesmusic3 1
I read that book this year and i loved it!
unknown_user5566 27
I just finished it for my Modern Fiction literature class... Wasn't bad! :) It was a bit slow for my taste but it was definitely well written.
lilicoco_fml 5
Ever think he may have a form of Autism you assbag?
McNerdyNerd 8
Speak to your teacher about this...email him/her so you have proof, and explain the situation. That way, even if you pull your weight and do your best, they can't give you a bad score. It isn't your fault the other kid is odd...I hate school projects for this reason exactly.
McNerdyNerd 8
Not to be mean about it at all. I helped out the disabled in school, but it isnt fair to be put with someone on a huge project..whether they are smart or disabled.