Today, I was on a 12-hour transatlantic flight. I asked the flight attendant where the rancid smell was coming from. The guy sitting next to me started laughing, saying, "Sorry, something I ate is not agreeing with me." This was hour one of the flight. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I'm on a 14-hour flight, stuck next to a large man whose rancid body odor is eclipsed only by his constant flatulence, which he loudly blames on me every time. On my other side is his friend who laughs like a moose at everything. There are no empty seats and no-one will trade with me. FML
Today, I'm on a 16 hour flight. Five minutes in, the lady on one side has clipped her toenails onto me and the guy on the other side has the most horrific gas I have ever smelled. To help this problem he bought a cheese plate from the stewardess. 15 hours and 55 minutes to go. FML
Today, on the airplane, the kid behind me kicked my seat hundreds of times, while the big bald guy next to me farted deadly ones repeatedly. I was on a non-stop 14-hour flight. FML
Today, I boarded my flight and sat next to a man. I told him I had hoped he was a hot woman and he concurred. He said at least I wasn't obese and I replied "At least you aren't smelly". Minutes later I realize he had the most disgusting foot odour ever... the barefoot kind. I suffered for 11 hours. FML
Today, I had a several-hour-long flight. I was put in a seat at the very back of the plane. Before the plane even lifted off, a woman took a dump in the bathroom that I stank for the rest of the flight. Whenever I tried to get some sleep, the flight attendant walked past, savagely jostling me. FML
Today, I got my own row on an almost full transatlantic flight. All it took was having food poisoning two hours into the flight. FML
Today, I'm in the middle seat on a flight to Dallas. The guy on the aisle is sleeping with his mouth open and I can smell his breath. I feel nauseous. FML
Today, I discovered the worst possible situation in which to get explosive diarrhea: on a 9-hour transatlantic flight. Next to an attractive single guy. FML
Today, I was on an early flight home after a night of drinking. I was sat in my seat when I started feeling sweaty and nauseous. I grabbed the puke bag and started gagging, then puking, and a really loud fart came out. Everyone heard it. The attendant switched me seat to sit alone. FML
Today, during a long flight, I tried to discreetly pass gas. Instead, I misjudged the pressure and ended up making a loud noise that everyone around me seemingly heard. To make matters worse, the flight attendant asked if everything was OK. Now I’m probably remembered as "Farts on a plane." FML
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Top comments
skinny_love 0
A "trans-Atlantic flight overseas?" YDI for being redundant.
Thehappygoose 0
A trans-Atlantic flight overseas. Is there any other kind?
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Comments (48)
Thehappygoose 0
A trans-Atlantic flight overseas. Is there any other kind?
shadow_child 0
You should have asked for a seat change.
nolimits 0
You should have pulled the oxygen mask out of the overhead.
mschondy156 0
most trans-Atlantic flights are overseas.
kukopia 0
But the guy isn't going to fart for 12 hrs. After a bit, it'll all be thru his system. Planes have air vents, you can even aim them. Put him down wind. So the OP is just another attention *****. I'm fresh out.
i_is_a_tr00l 0
SPOONY! Did you eat his delightful fart? Mine taste like oranges. Eat my farts. You're so jealous of him, because your farts probally taste like barf. :[ I'd be jealous, too.
ireply_w_lyrics 0
"...I give it all ooh, this is the reason why I sing. So give it all ooh, cos it's these reasons that belong to me. Rock bottoms where we live, and still we dig these trenches, to bury ourselves in them, backs breaking under tension. For far too long these voices, muffled by distances, it's time to come to our senses, up from the dirt. We give it all ooh, this is the reason why I sing. So give it all ooh, cos it's these reasons that belong to me...." Says the guy right before he hurled
sublime93 0
That didn't really go with the fml... OP: Get over it
bcorbs 0
transatlantic flights only take about 6-7 hours
g7190g92 1
It depends on where you're coming from and where you're going, actually
Tsukasa_fml 0
And how much you're willing to pay. A cheaper flight can take several times longer.
beefy_noodles 0
um...isn't NY to Asia, flying over the Atlantic Ocean, transatlantic? duh. I'm assuming he flew to Taiwan, not from (since his post was from there). And who's to say his first destination was Taiwan? Maybe he stopped in Thailand or Hong Kong. Stop taking things so literal. Sheesh
yep_me_again 0
depends on the airline. When I go to Japan, I go from NY straight to Japan: due west, over the Pacific Ocean. I think British Airways has to stop in London first before going over to Asia, for example.