Today, it's my birthday. So far I have received: the news that my parents are divorcing, a dead bird and a pile of shit left on my bed (courtesy of the cat), a rash all over my face, and some slippers from my boyfriend. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, it's my birthday. My mom decided to wake me up by having our new, previously stray, cat thrown on top of me. I was awoken to two claws ripping across my face which needed 16 stitches to fix. Happy Birthday. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My parents, with whom I live, told me that they didn't get me anything, but instead they said they would knock off a bit of the housekeeping I owe them. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My gifts were a stomach bug from my kid and a confession to a year-long affair from my (now soon-to-be-ex) husband of 21 years. Nobody even got me a card. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend didn't get me a present. He did, however, get me a card from our cat. He signed it "Have a purrrrfect birthday." Then he left to go to work. I was alone all day long. FML
Today, it's my birthday, I knew I would be on my own, so I brought some pancakes, only to come down and find that not only had my cat eaten them, but also that I’d have to clean his barf up. Happy birthday to me. FML
Today, it's my birthday. I lit my birthday candles on the cake I made myself and blew them out alone, while my worthless husband sat on the couch stuffing Doritos in his face. My present? He sprayed Lysol in the bathroom after he took a dump. FML
Today, it's my birthday. What did I get? A 12-hour work shift, after spending an almost sleepless night in a computer chair because my bed is infested with bed bugs. FML
Today, it's my birthday. I woke up to the sound of my cat puking up a hairball. This is the second year in a row he has done this. FML
Today, it's my birthday. Since I knew I would be spending it alone, I treated myself to a full cooked Scottish Breakfast. Just as I was plating up, I got carried away and my black pudding slipped out of my tongs and directly into my cat's litter tray. FML
Today, my boyfriend decided to gift me soap, a razor, and deodorant for my birthday. FML
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Top comments
FFML_314 11
It's obvious that the day of your birth has driven them to the point of sheer misery, you don't know how to take care of your pets, you're sticking your face in places it doesn't belong and your boyfriend is secretly a homosexual. FYL indeed.
004savage 0
atleast things can only get better right?
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Comments (153)
j_roger 0
at lest your boyfriend got you something i know it dosent mean much from some person you dont know but happy birth day
anti_average 5
So who gave her the rash?! D:
bigbadtim 7
Her boyfriend, duh.
Doortje 29
That sucks :( But maybe FML can make your birthday awesome? By singing you a birthday song :D Let's complete it ^^ "HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOUUU
Selena_is_back 7
sing "Misery" from Maroon 5!!!
DocBastard 38
Happy ******* birthday, you whiny bitch.
bigbadtim 7
I'm sure your heartfelt birthday wishes made her feel better.
jwbbabe 9
30- wiin(:
fadingaway 17
At least you got slippers. Slippers are cool.
uhhh_awkward 0
That's awful. :( No one deserves that on their birthday. Take a nice hot bubble bath, treat yourself to some ice cream, and make the rest of your day fun on your own!! Happy birthday!
green_eyes124 0
I'd feel bad for you, op, but I know people that don't get anything on their birthday. An I have a friend that is Jehovah's Witness and can't celebrate or acknowledge her birthday at all. Now that sucks, imo. Anyway, happy birthday op! : )
rooneyroo 0
I used to work with a Jehova's witness. he go visibly upset when I wished him a happy birthday. witnesses are morons.
maphineRAWRS 10
WERE THEY CUTE ANIMAL SLIPPERS? :D
mcxhunni 0
NO
twinny_sc 13
No, that's why OP is pissed.
kenzie15 0
happy birthday &hope your days gets betttahhh(: