Today, it's my birthday. So far I have received: the news that my parents are divorcing, a dead bird and a pile of shit left on my bed (courtesy of the cat), a rash all over my face, and some slippers from my boyfriend. FML
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Today, it's my birthday. My mom decided to wake me up by having our new, previously stray, cat thrown on top of me. I was awoken to two claws ripping across my face which needed 16 stitches to fix. Happy Birthday. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My parents, with whom I live, told me that they didn't get me anything, but instead they said they would knock off a bit of the housekeeping I owe them. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My gifts were a stomach bug from my kid and a confession to a year-long affair from my (now soon-to-be-ex) husband of 21 years. Nobody even got me a card. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend didn't get me a present. He did, however, get me a card from our cat. He signed it "Have a purrrrfect birthday." Then he left to go to work. I was alone all day long. FML
Today, it's my birthday, I knew I would be on my own, so I brought some pancakes, only to come down and find that not only had my cat eaten them, but also that I’d have to clean his barf up. Happy birthday to me. FML
Today, it's my birthday. I lit my birthday candles on the cake I made myself and blew them out alone, while my worthless husband sat on the couch stuffing Doritos in his face. My present? He sprayed Lysol in the bathroom after he took a dump. FML
Today, it's my birthday. What did I get? A 12-hour work shift, after spending an almost sleepless night in a computer chair because my bed is infested with bed bugs. FML
Today, it's my birthday. I woke up to the sound of my cat puking up a hairball. This is the second year in a row he has done this. FML
Today, it's my birthday. Since I knew I would be spending it alone, I treated myself to a full cooked Scottish Breakfast. Just as I was plating up, I got carried away and my black pudding slipped out of my tongs and directly into my cat's litter tray. FML
Today, my boyfriend decided to gift me soap, a razor, and deodorant for my birthday. FML
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Top comments
FFML_314 11
It's obvious that the day of your birth has driven them to the point of sheer misery, you don't know how to take care of your pets, you're sticking your face in places it doesn't belong and your boyfriend is secretly a homosexual. FYL indeed.
004savage 0
atleast things can only get better right?
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Comments (153)
HOTstuff2424 0
at least your boyfriend was nice
Tsuki1 0
Must of been a shitty bday. lol!
nayminaj23 0
Oh hell nawwww!! throw that slipper at his dumb aSs!!
azn_pridee69 0
LOOOL. happy birthday <3
HuiYaMing 0
Everyone expects the World on their birthday. ydi
whoknew10 0
well you can use the slipper to hit your parents, clean up the poops, cover the bird, thank the boyfriend, thennnn where them and get cozy. ahaahahha
gigilvrs6 0
Were the slippers at least cute?
DGAFprincess 0
well... bird people are crazy... and cat people any crazier. I've heard (not a cat owner here) that the only times cats don't use their litterbox is when it's too full. if you'd cleaned it, maye your cat wouldn't have shat on your bed. also, ydi for having a bird as a pet.
Mikki4321 0
I think OP is saying that the cat caught a bird, killed it, left it as a present. And shat (shit?) on the bed. Also, the bird thing is actually cute, it's a sign of affection that you're cat wants to share it's catch with you.
compworks 4
If I had the means to ship to the UK, I'd get you a better birthday present than the crap that happened to you, OP. FYL
Saraneth 0
Slippers are always nice.