Today, it's my birthday. So far I have received: the news that my parents are divorcing, a dead bird and a pile of shit left on my bed (courtesy of the cat), a rash all over my face, and some slippers from my boyfriend. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
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Today, it's my birthday. My mom decided to wake me up by having our new, previously stray, cat thrown on top of me. I was awoken to two claws ripping across my face which needed 16 stitches to fix. Happy Birthday. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My parents, with whom I live, told me that they didn't get me anything, but instead they said they would knock off a bit of the housekeeping I owe them. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My gifts were a stomach bug from my kid and a confession to a year-long affair from my (now soon-to-be-ex) husband of 21 years. Nobody even got me a card. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend didn't get me a present. He did, however, get me a card from our cat. He signed it "Have a purrrrfect birthday." Then he left to go to work. I was alone all day long. FML
Today, it's my birthday, I knew I would be on my own, so I brought some pancakes, only to come down and find that not only had my cat eaten them, but also that I’d have to clean his barf up. Happy birthday to me. FML
Today, it's my birthday. I lit my birthday candles on the cake I made myself and blew them out alone, while my worthless husband sat on the couch stuffing Doritos in his face. My present? He sprayed Lysol in the bathroom after he took a dump. FML
Today, it's my birthday. What did I get? A 12-hour work shift, after spending an almost sleepless night in a computer chair because my bed is infested with bed bugs. FML
Today, it's my birthday. I woke up to the sound of my cat puking up a hairball. This is the second year in a row he has done this. FML
Today, it's my birthday. Since I knew I would be spending it alone, I treated myself to a full cooked Scottish Breakfast. Just as I was plating up, I got carried away and my black pudding slipped out of my tongs and directly into my cat's litter tray. FML
Today, my boyfriend decided to gift me soap, a razor, and deodorant for my birthday. FML
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Top comments
FFML_314 11
It's obvious that the day of your birth has driven them to the point of sheer misery, you don't know how to take care of your pets, you're sticking your face in places it doesn't belong and your boyfriend is secretly a homosexual. FYL indeed.
004savage 0
atleast things can only get better right?
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Comments (153)
mrahhhhh 21
That just sucks. I can't even think of a snarky reply. Well OP, take the initiative and be a complete asshole to your parents. If they get pissed, play the "it's my birthday so I can do what I want, besides you owe me for ruining it by telling me you're divorced RIGHT on my birthday" card. Immature? Yes. But revenge is gratifying at any age. Shit if I was getting divorced I'd be kind and wait for a couple days or even weeks before telling my kids.
sam_08_fml 0
Well YDI for ever being born OP. If you would have never been born this would not have been a problem LOL.
Selena_is_back 7
way to go.
DevianceIsBliss 0
Obvious troll is obvious.
Sparx1_1 16
This stuff was still going to happen.... but ya it sucks that it happened on your birthday. As for the slippers.... be grateful, some guys think allowing you to give them a ******* is a perfect gift. It might not be the greatest gift but it's the thought that counts and at least he was trying.
russell16 0
well... happy birthday :)
SeaNDouble 1
at least you got slippers lol
hawwwty 0
it's my bday too but it doesn't suck fyl
1664beerbelly 0
at least you have a boyfriend, and now you'll get double the presents, plush a rash is ok as long as it's not near your crotch area and as long as it goes aways. share your stupidity/knowledge at survivingu. com
maestroluke 0
When a cat ***** on your bed, it usually means it's trying to get your attention because of an urgent medical problem. You should take your cat to the vet ASAP.
Iluv2D_fml 0
H
tj79 3
well the cat was showing love by bringing you it's kill. umm then you must have taken too long so it showed it's hurt by ********