Today, it's my birthday. So far I have received: the news that my parents are divorcing, a dead bird and a pile of shit left on my bed (courtesy of the cat), a rash all over my face, and some slippers from my boyfriend. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
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Today, it's my birthday. My mom decided to wake me up by having our new, previously stray, cat thrown on top of me. I was awoken to two claws ripping across my face which needed 16 stitches to fix. Happy Birthday. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My parents, with whom I live, told me that they didn't get me anything, but instead they said they would knock off a bit of the housekeeping I owe them. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My gifts were a stomach bug from my kid and a confession to a year-long affair from my (now soon-to-be-ex) husband of 21 years. Nobody even got me a card. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend didn't get me a present. He did, however, get me a card from our cat. He signed it "Have a purrrrfect birthday." Then he left to go to work. I was alone all day long. FML
Today, it's my birthday, I knew I would be on my own, so I brought some pancakes, only to come down and find that not only had my cat eaten them, but also that I’d have to clean his barf up. Happy birthday to me. FML
Today, it's my birthday. I lit my birthday candles on the cake I made myself and blew them out alone, while my worthless husband sat on the couch stuffing Doritos in his face. My present? He sprayed Lysol in the bathroom after he took a dump. FML
Today, it's my birthday. What did I get? A 12-hour work shift, after spending an almost sleepless night in a computer chair because my bed is infested with bed bugs. FML
Today, it's my birthday. I woke up to the sound of my cat puking up a hairball. This is the second year in a row he has done this. FML
Today, it's my birthday. Since I knew I would be spending it alone, I treated myself to a full cooked Scottish Breakfast. Just as I was plating up, I got carried away and my black pudding slipped out of my tongs and directly into my cat's litter tray. FML
Today, my boyfriend decided to gift me soap, a razor, and deodorant for my birthday. FML
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Top comments
FFML_314 11
It's obvious that the day of your birth has driven them to the point of sheer misery, you don't know how to take care of your pets, you're sticking your face in places it doesn't belong and your boyfriend is secretly a homosexual. FYL indeed.
004savage 0
atleast things can only get better right?
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Comments (153)
WickedWendigoX 0
happy ******* birthday then greed (:
ncvolley123 8
at least ur bf remembered!!
iwadasn 32
Your parents are getting divorced and you're whining about your birthday? It seems you should try being less selfish.
iheartglasses 0
Cats need to be exterminated. On the other hand, I love slippers :) If my boyfriend got me a pair Id enjoy them haha
StitchedBear 0
at least you haven't found out your boyfriends cheating on you yet..
BadKitty13 28
HAPPY BIRTHDAY ! I hope it got better for you. xo :) If not...... there is always next year and MAYBE A NEW BOYFRIEND !! Sooooo..... take a nice long HOT Bubble bath with a nice Bottle of Bubbly (all to yourself !!) and just relax and enjoy it. Oh and sorry about the P's ... that sux but at least you won't have to deal with them fighting all the time. They could have waited for the day after your Bday. And as for the cat..... well you know how they are ... they don't have owners, they have Staff.
TheIrishJaneDoe 8
Why a new boyfriend? He seems like the least deserving of criticism in this situation to me, including the OP.
moxillia 0
yay for slippers! :D
MyyLifeeIssFcked 0
Wow that's too bad... And slippers? That's what ur bf gets u? No offense but for him getting u that it probably means he doesn't care about u enough... Like come on, slippers? Dump the douche
TheIrishJaneDoe 8
Uh, what? That makes no sense to me. Why do slippers mean he doesn't care about her? Not everyone can afford expensive things like jewelry for each occasion, and not every girl enjoys stereotypically "romantic" gifts anyway. Maybe her feet are always cold. Maybe she mentioned needing new ones a long time ago and he remembered. Maybe it's an extra pair to keep at his house. There are lots of ways slippers could be a very thoughtful gift.
RedPillSucks 31
Damn. You got gifts from your boyfriend AND your cat and you're whining? This is much more than I got for mine. Tell the cat that you're not taking any of his shit anymore.
Fortuitous 0
Perry punny, Pill. In addition to the cat's crap, if the boyfriend's present was specifically a pair of flip-flops, then I understand why OP is flipping a shit, but she shouldn't make any rash decisions.
randomnessperson 0
at least ur boyfriend cares