Today, I was watching Ratatouille. Piece of advice for starving students: never watch it when you've only eaten two apples in two days, or you'll find yourself in the ridiculous position of being jealous of a fucking rat. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, school tuition has taken up so much of my paycheck that the only thing I had to eat for dinner was applesauce. FML
Today, I realized I’m so lonely that I actually got jealous while watching Shrek. FML
Today, I ate an apple. My sister then walks in dressed as a witch, and asks, "Have you seen my poisoned apple?" She was playing at Snow White, and the apple had been dipped in the toilet, the cat's food bowl and the garbage can. FML
Today, I learned why the phrase "seafood taco salad" terrifies everyone in the school's cafeteria. What happened to me after eating it made Saw III look like a Disney movie. FML
Today, I dreamed a rat crawled up from the toilet and attacked me. Now I'm afraid to even enter the bathroom. FML
Today, I've been broke for so long that I felt a pang of envy when a character in a movie said that that they'd bought a tiny cup from a gift shop. FML
Today, I watched Gigli. FML
Today, after being robbed last week, I had no money to go to the store for food. Instead, my dinner consisted of two Tums chewables in tropical fruit flavors. After not eating all day, I thought they actually tasted pretty good. FML
Today, I learnt that eating McDonald's, Twisties, chocolate, and popcorn, then regretting it and going to the gym is a bad idea. I discovered how far vomit, on a moving treadmill, can be thrown across a room. FML
Today, my roommate still chooses to waste his money on McDonald's food for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. He politely refuses to eat my nutritious home-cooked meals that people say taste amazing. Then he complains that he's in a shitty mood all the time. I wonder why… FML
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Top comments
Askzombie 14
Anyone can cook, but only the fearless can be great-gusteau
beaverteaser 16
living the whole apple a day ?
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Comments (75)
StiffPvtParts 43
I was once stranded on an airport for three days with no food, no drink, and no money (._.) I recommend stocking up on some cheap junk food, it's not healthy but it will keep you alive :c
Godsofdracos 15
Make sure you don't watch cloudy with a chance of meatballs, you might become delusional and start munching on everything in sight.
JMichael 26
Well go out there and learn to be a top Italian chef and you'll be fine!
gracehi 33
*French... Or British if we're going by where this FML actually takes place. He could be the next Gordon Ramsey! But hopefully this experience has humbled him and he won't be so mean.
karlcolt45 19
a mature male rat drags his testicles along as he walks, leaving a trail of urea to mark his territory as while as attract mates. so ratatouille would be an appetite suppressant for me
Hiimhaileypotter 53
Do wild male rats do that? I'm curious because I have pet male rats and, while they urine-mark a very tiny bit, they don't pee constantly and they're litter-trained with poo. Wild rats (like Remy in the movie) may pee constantly, but I do know that pet rats have bladder and bowel control.
karlcolt45 19
I worked as an exterminator for a bit and we tracked rats with UV lights. it made their urine trail light up like the 4th of July. while I appreciate rats as pets, I don't think that even a tiny bit of pee would be okay from my chef haha
Hiimhaileypotter 53
Oh, I agree xD I was just wondering because my boys will crawl all over my arms and body and don't pee at all. Haha, thanks.
laurenasabutton 26
It's only been two days. OP is not going to starve if this is a short term arrangement. If it goes on for weeks, maybe.
perdix 31
I guess students who aren't "gettin' any" would also be jealous of a "******* rat?"
monknicker 14
Most degrees require internet access for research.
worldclassrager 41
If I could cook like that rat I wouldn't need to worry about culinary school...ah well it's just a dream...
MexicanPenguin 1
I hate that movie.
kmartFTW 12
I just loved the ideas in this movie of letting a rat touch food. Pretty disgusting.