Today, I took my dog for a walk. He became friendly with another dog, and I reached down to pet them both. Suddenly, an old woman ran up to me and whacked me with her cane repeatedly. Apparently, her previous dog had been kidnapped by a woman who looked a lot like me. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was walking my dog when a lady approached me, commented how beautiful she was, and asked to pet her. I obliged and next thing I knew I was pushed to the ground and maced. She made off with my dog. The police is unable to locate them. FML
Today, I got mugged while walking my dog. He seemed to be OK with it. FML
Today, I went for a run, and my own dog attacked me. FML
Today, I was walking my dog when another dog barked at him. My dog ran, pulling me with him. I fell to the ground in pain, with my hand still holding the leash. FML
Today, I entered my neighbors’ yard around a shorter corner than usual. Their old dog is getting a bit slow, but unfortunately only in her head: By the time she recognized me as harmless, she had already run up and bitten me. FML
Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went over and helped her up. Instead of thanking me, she called me a pervert and slapped me around with her cane. FML
Today, I had a date with a woman. She brought her dog along. Everytime I touched her, her jealous male dog began to bark and tried to bite me. FML
Today, as I was walking my dog, some self-righteous animal activist berated me on how it was animal abuse to put my dog on a leash. Despite warning her, she crouched down to undo it, my dog charged at her, giving her a gash on the cheek. She kicked my dog for it, and is now threatening to sue me. FML
Today, I came home on crutches. My dog was immediately afraid of them, and came running towards me, growling and barking. She ran right into me, knocking me over. FML
Today, I was walking in the park with my girlfriend, when out of nowhere, I was savaged and brutally humped into submission by a massive Great Dane. Not only did my girlfriend watch it all, but the dog's owner took the time to snap a few pictures with his phone. Neither bothered to help me. FML
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Top comments
hunny_kat 0
You should have kicked her in the kidneys and then apologized and told her that she looked a lot like another old woman who had previously hit you with her cane for no reason.
survivalism 0
That crap is annoying. Take the cane and throw it next time.
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Comments (112)
SVelasquez 0
Geez, you can never turn your back on the old people can you? They may LOOK friendly, but damn they can be your worst enemy in a heartbeat.
goalie20 0
WTF?? It is a DOG. That lady needs to relax!
depotst 0
You're one of THOSE people!! You have no soul. Please go to icanhascheezburger.com
Luckster 0
Sue for assault charges, even if she is an old lady. If she hit you hard enough, you probably have bruises to prove she attacked you. Doesn't matter if you look like another person in the eyes of an old geezer. You have a more liable case than she does.
nirvan5a 1
kidnap a dog??? weird!
bryans_fresh 0
wow fake
Nightfallz 0
call the police and press assault charges. petting a dog that's not on a leash is no reason to get assaulted with a weapon
suckstomyasthmar 0
Did she at least apologize? Cause ya that sucks but at least she had apologized if she did and all
Prawn_fml 2
Sheesh, heard about leashes, old lady? I'd also encourage you to press charges against dicks like that.
lills123 7
Agreed
Lounia_fml 8
DOGNAPPER!
sadiesykes 0
LOL