Today, I was waiting in a line, texting on my phone. I hear what sounded like a sneeze and said, "Bless you" to the man in front of me. He gave me a dirty look as I began to smell something awful. It wasn't a sneeze. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was using a restroom when I heard someone sneeze. I said, "Bless you." It happened again about three times, so I repeated myself each time. I then noticed it was an automatic air freshener. FML
Today, I sneezed in the shower. When I got out, I got a text from my creepy old neighbor saying "Bless you". FML
Today, at work, I was standing at the till helping an attractive man. I have a cold and could feel the snot bubbling up. He orders and we flirt for a bit. Just as I'm about to hand him his product, I sneeze quite loudly and forcefully all over his face. Guess I won't be getting that number. FML
Today, I was in a meeting and someone behind me sneezed really loudly. As they were doing so, I felt something cold land on my neck. FML
Today, I sneezed so hard at work that I farted. In the silence in our open space office that followed, my boss looked over, smiled, and said, "Bless you?" The people in the office who weren't wearing headphones burst out laughing, then those people noticed the laughter, took their headphones off, and my boss then had to explain to them why they were laughing. FML
Today, I was working at the checkout. Trying to be hygienic, I suppressed a sneeze. I continued to serve the next person. As I was giving her her change, she looked at me with a horrified expression. I looked down and my shirt was covered in a trail of snot all the way to my belt. FML
Today, I had to sneeze really bad in a restaurant. To avoid sneezing on everybody's food, I turned my head to the side and sneezed, it just so happens a waitress was there serving a table. My nose went straight into her ass. FML
Today, I heard my coworker sneeze on the other side of the break room, and right after I felt something wet hit my cheek. FML
Today, I was in a meeting when I felt a sneeze coming on. I tried to hold it in to avoid making a noise. Instead, I ended up sneeze-imploding so hard that I accidentally farted at the same time. The entire room went silent. FML
Today, I was in a meeting with my boss and some new clients when I sensed that I was about to sneeze. I tried to hold it in, but ended up sneezing AND farting. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
JennaNGood 21
Who the hell gets angry when you say bless you, even if it was for the wrong bodily function?!
Indianboy9321 25
Why did he give YOU a dirty look...?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (59)
UnluckyJulie 13
He had some nerve giving YOU a dirty look! What a pig!
Masonjar13 10
I don't believe farts should sound like sneezing. I think he might have a problem there.
captainsmegma 12
People spend entirely too much time glued to their phones.Maybe a good loud smelly fart is what it takes to get people to acknowledge others.
wookieewhosshe 29
I'm quite impressed by the fact he didn't burst out laughing in the realization you thought his fart was a sneeze!
tsenx 7
He gave you a dirty look? He should be apologizing!
SailorBen 6
I guess he could give a toot about you
Irreverend 23
Bless you for blessing him in that moment.
Wump 14
He's probably pissed because you said it to the wrong end
Nacker323 4
he probably sneeze farted. embarrassingly enough, I've done it while at work.
Valvatorez 1
when someone farts from now on I'm saying bless you.