Gross and Miscellaneous: Gross!

Gross!

By Anonymous - 17/07/2014 02:49 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was waiting in a line, texting on my phone. I hear what sounded like a sneeze and said, "Bless you" to the man in front of me. He gave me a dirty look as I began to smell something awful. It wasn't a sneeze. FML

agreeclassic 44 315

vote type 1 4 807

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Similar FMLs

By coleslaw - 03/02/2012 05:25 - United States

Today, I was using a restroom when I heard someone sneeze. I said, "Bless you." It happened again about three times, so I repeated myself each time. I then noticed it was an automatic air freshener. FML

agreeclassic 18 093

vote type 1 26 047

By errrmkl46 - 02/12/2009 06:25 - United States

Today, I sneezed in the shower. When I got out, I got a text from my creepy old neighbor saying "Bless you". FML

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Flirtatious bubble

By BoogieCandy. - 23/10/2009 08:56 - Canada

Today, at work, I was standing at the till helping an attractive man. I have a cold and could feel the snot bubbling up. He orders and we flirt for a bit. Just as I'm about to hand him his product, I sneeze quite loudly and forcefully all over his face. Guess I won't be getting that number. FML

agreeclassic 29 443

vote type 1 8 593

By race - 18/11/2010 08:37 - Australia

Today, I was in a meeting and someone behind me sneezed really loudly. As they were doing so, I felt something cold land on my neck. FML

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No laugh track required

By Anonymous - 06/05/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, I sneezed so hard at work that I farted. In the silence in our open space office that followed, my boss looked over, smiled, and said, "Bless you?" The people in the office who weren't wearing headphones burst out laughing, then those people noticed the laughter, took their headphones off, and my boss then had to explain to them why they were laughing. FML

agreeclassic 503

vote type 1 132

Not now, dude!

By sammy - 26/03/2020 04:59 - Australia

Today, I was working at the checkout. Trying to be hygienic, I suppressed a sneeze. I continued to serve the next person. As I was giving her her change, she looked at me with a horrified expression. I looked down and my shirt was covered in a trail of snot all the way to my belt. FML

agreeclassic 1 641

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By Embarrassed - 01/10/2010 13:06 - United States

Today, I had to sneeze really bad in a restaurant. To avoid sneezing on everybody's food, I turned my head to the side and sneezed, it just so happens a waitress was there serving a table. My nose went straight into her ass. FML

agreeclassic 32 511

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Say it, don't spray it

By Yak - 09/08/2025 13:00 - United States

Today, I heard my coworker sneeze on the other side of the break room, and right after I felt something wet hit my cheek. FML

agreeclassic 435

vote type 1 52

Both ends

By Anon - 19/06/2024 12:00 - United States - Birmingham

Today, I was in a meeting when I felt a sneeze coming on. I tried to hold it in to avoid making a noise. Instead, I ended up sneeze-imploding so hard that I accidentally farted at the same time. The entire room went silent. FML

agreeclassic 466

vote type 1 144

Let it all out

By Anonymous - 25/03/2023 22:00 - Australia

Today, I was in a meeting with my boss and some new clients when I sensed that I was about to sneeze. I tried to hold it in, but ended up sneezing AND farting. FML

agreeclassic 851

vote type 1 145

JennaNGood 21

Thursday 17 July 2014 9:37

Who the hell gets angry when you say bless you, even if it was for the wrong bodily function?!

Indianboy9321 25

Thursday 17 July 2014 9:39

Why did he give YOU a dirty look...?

Comments

UnluckyJulie 13

Thursday 17 July 2014 23:18

He had some nerve giving YOU a dirty look! What a pig!

Masonjar13 10

Friday 18 July 2014 4:19

I don't believe farts should sound like sneezing. I think he might have a problem there.

captainsmegma 12

Friday 18 July 2014 4:36

People spend entirely too much time glued to their phones.Maybe a good loud smelly fart is what it takes to get people to acknowledge others.

wookieewhosshe 28

Friday 18 July 2014 7:11

I'm quite impressed by the fact he didn't burst out laughing in the realization you thought his fart was a sneeze!

tsenx 7

Friday 18 July 2014 8:55

He gave you a dirty look? He should be apologizing!

SailorBen 6

Friday 18 July 2014 9:44

I guess he could give a toot about you

Irreverend 23

Friday 18 July 2014 18:40

Bless you for blessing him in that moment.

Wump 14

Friday 18 July 2014 23:38

He's probably pissed because you said it to the wrong end

Nacker323 4

Wednesday 23 July 2014 9:07

he probably sneeze farted. embarrassingly enough, I've done it while at work.

Valvatorez 1

Friday 25 July 2014 19:44

when someone farts from now on I'm saying bless you.

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