Today, I was waiting in a line, texting on my phone. I hear what sounded like a sneeze and said, "Bless you" to the man in front of me. He gave me a dirty look as I began to smell something awful. It wasn't a sneeze. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was using a restroom when I heard someone sneeze. I said, "Bless you." It happened again about three times, so I repeated myself each time. I then noticed it was an automatic air freshener. FML
Today, I sneezed in the shower. When I got out, I got a text from my creepy old neighbor saying "Bless you". FML
Today, at work, I was standing at the till helping an attractive man. I have a cold and could feel the snot bubbling up. He orders and we flirt for a bit. Just as I'm about to hand him his product, I sneeze quite loudly and forcefully all over his face. Guess I won't be getting that number. FML
Today, I was in a meeting and someone behind me sneezed really loudly. As they were doing so, I felt something cold land on my neck. FML
Today, I sneezed so hard at work that I farted. In the silence in our open space office that followed, my boss looked over, smiled, and said, "Bless you?" The people in the office who weren't wearing headphones burst out laughing, then those people noticed the laughter, took their headphones off, and my boss then had to explain to them why they were laughing. FML
Today, I was working at the checkout. Trying to be hygienic, I suppressed a sneeze. I continued to serve the next person. As I was giving her her change, she looked at me with a horrified expression. I looked down and my shirt was covered in a trail of snot all the way to my belt. FML
Today, I had to sneeze really bad in a restaurant. To avoid sneezing on everybody's food, I turned my head to the side and sneezed, it just so happens a waitress was there serving a table. My nose went straight into her ass. FML
Today, I heard my coworker sneeze on the other side of the break room, and right after I felt something wet hit my cheek. FML
Today, I was in a meeting when I felt a sneeze coming on. I tried to hold it in to avoid making a noise. Instead, I ended up sneeze-imploding so hard that I accidentally farted at the same time. The entire room went silent. FML
Today, I was in a meeting with my boss and some new clients when I sensed that I was about to sneeze. I tried to hold it in, but ended up sneezing AND farting. FML
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Top comments
JennaNGood 21
Who the hell gets angry when you say bless you, even if it was for the wrong bodily function?!
Indianboy9321 25
Why did he give YOU a dirty look...?
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Comments (59)
Ki11erC 18
How do you confuse the two? His fart must of sounded very odd. And bless you is still religious even if it's a common thing, some people dislike it.
RedPillSucks 33
Unless he's Satan, I don't see why he'd be upset by a "Bless you". Most people use it reflexively anyway. Even atheist.
rocker_chick23 27
#29: I have never met anyone who was offended by "bless you." Hell, my husbands sister in law is Muslim and she is fine with people saying bless you to her and says it when she hears someone sneeze.
pixiebubz 26
*must HAVE
PassiveAggresive 12
Poor guy, must have had a bad day. Don't let it get to you OP!
juanschwartz 18
Oh shat!
xoxo_jmc 9
rude of him to give you nasty look for saying "bless you" .. even if it was a fart and not a sneeze your intension of saying it was nice.. some people are just rude for no reason .
Liiiiiiiiike 15
Shart?
worldclassrager 41
Seriously a dirty look? Take the blessing man!
KestrelGirl 15
Oh my. That must have been quite the shart.
rugener92 11
How an earth did that sound like a sneeze? 2 anuses or something?
Sweet_Visions 13
Lol weird FML. Talk about being polite then getting a dirty look? Guess people really aren't nice anymore..
kittyfrozen 19
this is why people should stop saying 'bless you' when others sneeze. i am one that sneezes many times in a row and it is irritating when some of my friends say bless you every single time