Today, I was waiting in a line, texting on my phone. I hear what sounded like a sneeze and said, "Bless you" to the man in front of me. He gave me a dirty look as I began to smell something awful. It wasn't a sneeze. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was using a restroom when I heard someone sneeze. I said, "Bless you." It happened again about three times, so I repeated myself each time. I then noticed it was an automatic air freshener. FML
Today, I sneezed in the shower. When I got out, I got a text from my creepy old neighbor saying "Bless you". FML
Today, at work, I was standing at the till helping an attractive man. I have a cold and could feel the snot bubbling up. He orders and we flirt for a bit. Just as I'm about to hand him his product, I sneeze quite loudly and forcefully all over his face. Guess I won't be getting that number. FML
Today, I was in a meeting and someone behind me sneezed really loudly. As they were doing so, I felt something cold land on my neck. FML
Today, I sneezed so hard at work that I farted. In the silence in our open space office that followed, my boss looked over, smiled, and said, "Bless you?" The people in the office who weren't wearing headphones burst out laughing, then those people noticed the laughter, took their headphones off, and my boss then had to explain to them why they were laughing. FML
Today, I was working at the checkout. Trying to be hygienic, I suppressed a sneeze. I continued to serve the next person. As I was giving her her change, she looked at me with a horrified expression. I looked down and my shirt was covered in a trail of snot all the way to my belt. FML
Today, I had to sneeze really bad in a restaurant. To avoid sneezing on everybody's food, I turned my head to the side and sneezed, it just so happens a waitress was there serving a table. My nose went straight into her ass. FML
Today, I heard my coworker sneeze on the other side of the break room, and right after I felt something wet hit my cheek. FML
Today, I was in a meeting when I felt a sneeze coming on. I tried to hold it in to avoid making a noise. Instead, I ended up sneeze-imploding so hard that I accidentally farted at the same time. The entire room went silent. FML
Today, I was in a meeting with my boss and some new clients when I sensed that I was about to sneeze. I tried to hold it in, but ended up sneezing AND farting. FML
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Top comments
JennaNGood 21
Who the hell gets angry when you say bless you, even if it was for the wrong bodily function?!
Indianboy9321 25
Why did he give YOU a dirty look...?
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Comments (59)
zandalee 20
This is brilliant!! You blessed his shart. lol.
cailey1234567890 24
Lmao Maybe try paying attention a little better? Im sure it was an honest mistake though :P
Ghastly_fml 15
At least you were polite :D
J215B 33
It could be that op brought attention to the fact the man farted. The dirty look could have been because the guy was embarrassed.
91hayek 31
I know you were just being polite but I think this is the best passive aggressive retort to loud public farting I have ever read. I'm going to use this the first chance I get! Thanks OP.
zandalee 20
Me too!
Grauncho 27
Guess the look he gave you wasn't they only thing that was dirty.
miliaras93 17
LOOOOL thats hilarous
mete_orito 34
It could have been a wet fart. They are kinda tricky. Sorry OP
dawood_k 27
What the hell was he doing farting in public. Does he have no respect. If anybody should have been saying anything its him should have been apologizing...filthy idiot.
zandalee 20
My guess is it wasn't actually a fart but rather a shart. Those things cannot be held in. They just explode.
cryssycakesx3 23
anytime passing gas is mentioned, someone automatically assumes it was a "shart"... hate that word.
syed121417 22
Hey man farting is farting. It's not pleasant, but it happens just like sneezing or coughing. Maybe he couldn't hold it in
SplitEnds 11
Hey don't feel bad you were just being nice. It's not your fault his farts sound like sneezes