Expectations

By Anonymous - 06/02/2023 04:00 - Australia - Hawthorn

Today, my stepdaughter, who despises me and lives in the same house, says she wouldn't go out for a birthday dinner with the family because I was going. She still expects me to drive her for a one-and-a-half hour round trip to drop her off at work. FML
I agree, your life sucks 1 019
You deserved it 147

Same thing different taste

Top comments

It’s not uncommon for children, especially teens and older children, to harbor a fantasy that if it wasn’t for stepdad or stepmom their original birth family would get back together. That can result in apparent attempts at sabotage of stepdad or stepmom’s relationship. My teenage son did that to me when I got remarried and my Dad had told me that his teenage daughter tried that with him when he got remarried. (In my sister’s case, she had also gotten use to being the “queen of the house.” … The only practical solution is that the parent and stepparent have to lay down the rules and expectations. It really needs to come from the birth parent to make it stick… Younger kids tend to be more flexible and accepting of Mom or Dad’s new relationship.

You need to sit down and find out why she despises you so much. If it's angst or moodiness, this hopefully is a phase that will pass. If it's something you are doing that is legitimately upsetting her, you need to reevaluate your behavior and pivot accordingly. But LISTEN and don't judge. Talk with a family counselor if you have to. But make it clear that while she lives under your roof, she will treat you with respect and follow your rules. She needs to check the attitude at the door.

Comments

You need to sit down and find out why she despises you so much. If it's angst or moodiness, this hopefully is a phase that will pass. If it's something you are doing that is legitimately upsetting her, you need to reevaluate your behavior and pivot accordingly. But LISTEN and don't judge. Talk with a family counselor if you have to. But make it clear that while she lives under your roof, she will treat you with respect and follow your rules. She needs to check the attitude at the door.

Tell her “nope I have plans” when she needs a ride

It’s not uncommon for children, especially teens and older children, to harbor a fantasy that if it wasn’t for stepdad or stepmom their original birth family would get back together. That can result in apparent attempts at sabotage of stepdad or stepmom’s relationship. My teenage son did that to me when I got remarried and my Dad had told me that his teenage daughter tried that with him when he got remarried. (In my sister’s case, she had also gotten use to being the “queen of the house.” … The only practical solution is that the parent and stepparent have to lay down the rules and expectations. It really needs to come from the birth parent to make it stick… Younger kids tend to be more flexible and accepting of Mom or Dad’s new relationship.

this is like your ninth FML about how much your wife and stepdaughter hate you. just leave. idfc about it