Today, a man asked about fishing in the river that flows beside where I work. I said you could, but anything you caught under 5 inches has to be thrown back. His wife then said, "Wish I knew that before I married him." I started to laugh. The man almost cried and complained to my boss. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, after fishing for 5 hours, I finally caught a respectable-sized fish. I ran to my truck to grab the scale, and then I saw my friend laughing hysterically while holding an empty net. Apparently, the only catch of our day jumped out of the net during the 15 seconds I was gone. FML
Today, my dad and I went fishing. We both got a bite, but when we went to reel it in, both our hooks were in the catfish's mouth. He pushed me in the mud and took my hook out its mouth so he could say he caught it. FML
Today, I took my son fishing and we did quite well, catching enough for several nights worth of meals. Then, as we were packing up, the dumbass tipped the whole lot back into the sea because he somehow thought the freaking ocean was subject to catch and release. Four hours wasted FML
Today, I was at a job interview for a position I really needed. Somehow, the interviewer and I started talking about fishing. I joked, "I'm a master baiter." Needless to say, I didn't get the job. FML
Today, I went fishing. Not only did I lose the fish, I lost the entire rod. FML
Today, while I was working at a sushi restaurant, a guy told me he wanted the table next to the "koi fish tank", because he wanted to let the fish know what happens when they "cross him". FML
Today, I went fishing with friends looking to catch big redfish. During the trip, one of the men caught a 50 pound monster which I put away. At the end of the trip they wanted to take a picture with it. I went to wash off the fish in the water. Apparently the fish wasn't dead and swam away. FML
Today, I was so happy to be divorced from my asshole husband, I threw my ring off the bridge near the park where we met. As I was walking away, a diver surfaced, yelled, “I think you dropped this, miss” and threw the ring back at me. I can't catch a break today. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I broke up after three years. I came home and when my dad asked what was wrong, I told him. His first reaction was, "Well damn it. Who'll go fishing with me now?" FML
Today, I asked my dad if he'd like to go fishing together, but he said he was busy with errands. Later, in a casual conversation with my friend, she opened up her phone to show me pictures of her fishing with my dad. FML
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Top comments
Volcan_fml 22
Who the **** makes their husband cry in public?
woainishamu 21
If he cries over his dick size, he needs to learn to grow up.
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Comments (96)
onorexveritas 23
she stayed with him so he should be happy ... she was probably just kidding.... maybe
rebelliousshroom 12
I might be stating the obvious here, but no one ever seems to just clarify it already: What matters is a combination of size, movement and shape. Excelling in one of the factors can partly compensate for lacking in another, but not completely. However, none of this matters as much as getting your partner sufficiently aroused before you start. There, I said it without any disturbing euphemisms...
jonha21 11
"Finding Nemo"
worldclassrager 39
I think she married him for his heart not is dick but that was a great reply I have to admit...
Fuhkyoo 17
Another fine example of the tiny penis rule. (you get upset over something that could be potentially untrue but the second youre upset over it is essentially true, hence why it would upset you)
Jirekianu2 19
So, how many women would this "logic" work on if you called them a ****. "You can't get mad unless you think it's true!"... :|
Fuhkyoo 17
this is true, but how often do guys call each other fags and shit and nothing ever comes of it. maybe women just like ovary-acting? I think so.
pattayarick 8
What did he hope that your boss would do? I can see that his wife is the one with the balls in the family.
amifaiyaz 12
I kinda feel bad for the guy...
smacky187 9
Haha shorty
slushyslime 7
That's one mean lady ! Shame on you for laughing . words hurt Op
TVKill3r 15
Yeah if you're a child.
allisadawn91 8
That is so sad.....poor guy:(