Today, my father spent half an hour trying to convert my cat to Christianity. He has already done this with my other two cats. He's completely serious and thinks they are born-again Christians. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I've been babysitting a 4 month-old for two days. This has made a great impression on my cat, because now I can't sit down without him jumping up and licking my face until I pat his butt and rock him like the baby. FML
Today, my dad asked me if I'd started smoking, I gave him a big speech about how I never have and never will. Two hours later, he found my stash of cigarettes under my bed. FML
Today, I went to my grandmother's house to pick up her cat to take him to the vet. She forgot who I was and sprayed me in the face with pepper spray. FML
Today, my dad has decided to that as a New Year's resolution, he's going to strive to wear pants less often. It's only been an hour and I can already tell it's going to be a long year. FML
Today, I was arguing with my dad. I called him a geriatric fool. He replied with, "Well at least I know who my biological father is." I have no idea if he's joking. FML
Today, I was teasing my cat with a piece of string when suddenly my phone rang. I answered it with one hand and put the string down with the other onto my lap. The beast seized the opportunity to spring, claws out, onto my privates. FML
Today, it's my sister's birthday. My parents got her a cat. I have serious allergies when it comes to cats. When I brought this issue up with my parents, they replied, "This day is not about you, it's about your sister." I can feel my throat tightening already. FML
Today, I found out that my dad is actually my uncle, and vice-versa. FML
Today, I caught my dad sneaking a drink of whiskey outside, shortly before my wedding. I asked if he was seriously getting drunk at a time like this. He looked at me and scoffed, "It's the only way I'm gonna get through this stupid shit." FML
Today, my wife and I decided to celebrate Christmas Eve with her side of the family. When we arrived at her parents' house, I heard her mother say that Christmas miracles don't exist since my wife brought me along. FML
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Top comments
pwincessa23 1
hahaha wtf?! this is hilarious though! I'd probably play along or tell him they're Jewish or something.
MrFlintstone 5
ops dad: I comand u to believe cat: meow?!?! ops dad: believe or you'll be damned cat: meow!!! (running away) ops dad: you can't run from god!!!!!!!!!
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Comments (129)
taltoslove 0
So is your cat a republican now?
hcs4life21 0
46 - Win!
BIEBERSLAYER 10
what were they before? I know they were buddist
lisha88 1
lmao tell him there Jehovah's witness
kdkorz 7
*they're
hcs4life21 0
grammar Nazi
zekecastro 0
I'm putting my cats in my a box for shipment, whats your address? I need my cats to be saved(;
hectormora21 3
j thought jahova witnesses were bad!
scruffy_janitor5 1
at least he's not imposing his religion on humans
MrXerxes5 6
This is why people ridicule religion
The_Hitchhiker 0
Exactly
spartan522114 0
No people reticule religion because they think going against social norms from years ago makes them a free-thinking non-conformist.
MareNostrum 0
(I believe you meant 'ridicule'?) Ok, so everyone who ridicules religion is simply pursuing pseudo-individuality? I'm sure there are some who do that, but is it really reasonable to assume that is the general cause of religious ridicule? Many people ridicule religion because many religions propose far-fetched and unproven concepts, play on the fear of the unknown, commit mass atrocities to defend these concepts, and establish human institutions whose political power relies on how many believers that they can lay 'claim' to.
eminemXshady 0
thank you, 172
jrl585 0
damn it I became a Hindu to be reincarnated as an animal so I wouldn't have to deal with religion!!! aww well I can be atheist
The_Hitchhiker 0
Last time I checked, the conversion process requires consent from the converted that they wish to be as such. Your dad didn't convert them, he just wasted his time talking about jesus to cats. His loss (of functional brain cells.)
knocking 0
Be happy that apparently you take after your mom. Poor kitties. I dislike people who try to impose their religion on others. Although up to now I've only heard of humans trying to convert other humans. It must be even worse than I thought if they are attempting to convert animals now...