Today, my father spent half an hour trying to convert my cat to Christianity. He has already done this with my other two cats. He's completely serious and thinks they are born-again Christians. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I've been babysitting a 4 month-old for two days. This has made a great impression on my cat, because now I can't sit down without him jumping up and licking my face until I pat his butt and rock him like the baby. FML
Today, my dad asked me if I'd started smoking, I gave him a big speech about how I never have and never will. Two hours later, he found my stash of cigarettes under my bed. FML
Today, I went to my grandmother's house to pick up her cat to take him to the vet. She forgot who I was and sprayed me in the face with pepper spray. FML
Today, my dad has decided to that as a New Year's resolution, he's going to strive to wear pants less often. It's only been an hour and I can already tell it's going to be a long year. FML
Today, I was arguing with my dad. I called him a geriatric fool. He replied with, "Well at least I know who my biological father is." I have no idea if he's joking. FML
Today, I was teasing my cat with a piece of string when suddenly my phone rang. I answered it with one hand and put the string down with the other onto my lap. The beast seized the opportunity to spring, claws out, onto my privates. FML
Today, it's my sister's birthday. My parents got her a cat. I have serious allergies when it comes to cats. When I brought this issue up with my parents, they replied, "This day is not about you, it's about your sister." I can feel my throat tightening already. FML
Today, I found out that my dad is actually my uncle, and vice-versa. FML
Today, I caught my dad sneaking a drink of whiskey outside, shortly before my wedding. I asked if he was seriously getting drunk at a time like this. He looked at me and scoffed, "It's the only way I'm gonna get through this stupid shit." FML
Today, my wife and I decided to celebrate Christmas Eve with her side of the family. When we arrived at her parents' house, I heard her mother say that Christmas miracles don't exist since my wife brought me along. FML
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Top comments
pwincessa23 1
hahaha wtf?! this is hilarious though! I'd probably play along or tell him they're Jewish or something.
MrFlintstone 5
ops dad: I comand u to believe cat: meow?!?! ops dad: believe or you'll be damned cat: meow!!! (running away) ops dad: you can't run from god!!!!!!!!!
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Comments (129)
klilianac 0
careful your dad doesn't give your cats the blood of Christ
ArabFML 3
It's called freedom of religion. I can witness and share the Gospel to anyone I wish, for that is what Jesus told us to do, share the Gospel with those who have not heard it. He is not "imposing" his religion on anyone, even though doing that to a cat is a little strange..
Auntie_Christ 0
I totally agree! After two thousand years, pretty much everyone has heard it and most all of those who would buy it already have, so Dad was left with two choices: 1. Shut the **** up already, or 2. Witness to smaller, helpless creatures who are unable to make their own choices. Wait a minute! It just dawned on me that he actually has a third choice! 3. Become a Sunday school teacher!
Epsilonyx 15
"QUICK! An FML on the topic of Christianity! Hurry and be rude and bash their beliefs!"
maseybear_RAWR 0
those poor cats!!! i'm so sorry!!
switchgurl20 17
lol i did this to my dogs when i was 7 years. basically copying what i was seeing but it really makes no sense to me now as an adult. At least he wants to see his cats in heaven. I'd be worried if he tried to convert the cats but not his human immediate family.
adiberkeley 0
my cat killed a mouse that is why they did not accept him as a christian :(
tayruru 0
That's absurd! Everyone knows cats are atheist! :P
SavySituation 0
aha
Trent_21 6
sounds like my crazy Ass mom
luvsherry 0
your dad needs help lol