Today, my father spent half an hour trying to convert my cat to Christianity. He has already done this with my other two cats. He's completely serious and thinks they are born-again Christians. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I've been babysitting a 4 month-old for two days. This has made a great impression on my cat, because now I can't sit down without him jumping up and licking my face until I pat his butt and rock him like the baby. FML
Today, my dad asked me if I'd started smoking, I gave him a big speech about how I never have and never will. Two hours later, he found my stash of cigarettes under my bed. FML
Today, I went to my grandmother's house to pick up her cat to take him to the vet. She forgot who I was and sprayed me in the face with pepper spray. FML
Today, my dad has decided to that as a New Year's resolution, he's going to strive to wear pants less often. It's only been an hour and I can already tell it's going to be a long year. FML
Today, I was arguing with my dad. I called him a geriatric fool. He replied with, "Well at least I know who my biological father is." I have no idea if he's joking. FML
Today, I was teasing my cat with a piece of string when suddenly my phone rang. I answered it with one hand and put the string down with the other onto my lap. The beast seized the opportunity to spring, claws out, onto my privates. FML
Today, it's my sister's birthday. My parents got her a cat. I have serious allergies when it comes to cats. When I brought this issue up with my parents, they replied, "This day is not about you, it's about your sister." I can feel my throat tightening already. FML
Today, I found out that my dad is actually my uncle, and vice-versa. FML
Today, I caught my dad sneaking a drink of whiskey outside, shortly before my wedding. I asked if he was seriously getting drunk at a time like this. He looked at me and scoffed, "It's the only way I'm gonna get through this stupid shit." FML
Today, my wife and I decided to celebrate Christmas Eve with her side of the family. When we arrived at her parents' house, I heard her mother say that Christmas miracles don't exist since my wife brought me along. FML
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Top comments
pwincessa23 1
hahaha wtf?! this is hilarious though! I'd probably play along or tell him they're Jewish or something.
MrFlintstone 5
ops dad: I comand u to believe cat: meow?!?! ops dad: believe or you'll be damned cat: meow!!! (running away) ops dad: you can't run from god!!!!!!!!!
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Comments (129)
lizabeth131 0
my cat is atheist, will your dad convert mine too??
onecutechick101 0
WTF is your dad snortin
Nyolia 11
This comment made me laugh so hard.
lil_ham1644 29
Catnip
AliSama 17
I thought chrisitans did not believe that animals had souls?
gingersnapp 0
not trueee
rkcxenocide 0
Christians don't believe it.
rkcxenocide 0
Christians don't believe it.
metalhead5564 0
I'm a Christian. We do believe that animals have souls!
AliSama 17
#45 cool!
sadkiddie 0
in the bible at Numbers 31:28, Revelation 16:3, and Leviticus 24:18 it talks about animals being 'souls' =P
jazzyjada10 6
I'm a Christian and yes animals have souls *all dogs go to heaven*
AmberBri 8
Nowhere in the Bible does it say that dogs go to Heaven.
caity1419 0
No where in the Bible does it say they dont.
staypon 0
74, you're just saying that cause you don't have a dog.
TheCountess 4
I used to be under the same impression, though I guess it's still up for debate, since I've met Christians who hold both beliefs on the matter of animal souls.
demoon_fml 7
they do not have souls. they were put on this earth for food and work
Epsilonyx 15
No, we don't believe animals have souls. Man was made in God's image, not animals.
letmeloveyou 0
only a few hundred years ago the church got together to debate if women have souls.
OkayImSorry 0
Any "Christian" that tells you other wise has never read their book. They say that animals are for food and work. Which is incorrect. All creatures are equal since god is non existent.
ReynshineCutting 10
It varies from person to person. My sister in law doesn't believe they have souls but I do. When you look into a dog's eyes, they can't NOT have souls. Besides, it wouldn't be heaven without our best friends!
knocking 0
I agree. I believe they have souls. Heaven is supposed to be a place of happiness and joy, right? Well if there weren't any animals I know I wouldn't be very happy. If there is a heaven and I get to it, my pets better damn be there or else I'm leaving.
anndiwhite 0
in what version because I can't find that?
steveakafranxy 7
#157 omfg how did this turn into a religious debate?
VasilisaUzhasnaj 29
I think 70 was referring to the animated movie.
jeover 0
If you've truly read our book you would never say God is non-existant. Have a blessed life.
bobbymullet 11
man I wish my dad was that cool.
TheNewGuy03 29
so it proves that not only all dogs, but all cats also go to heaven. |the kid|
SavySituation 0
hii:)
jessiejess020 0
I can has bible?
alfool 0
put a kippah on them and see his reaction
shutterbug1190 14
How does one convert cats to Christianity? do they drink holy water instead of regular water? Seriously though, how does that work? I'm kind of intrigued. I'm glad your dad has strong faith, even if that is a tiny bit odd. To each their own though :)
epyk_pryncess 8
I'm thinking holy milk.
icecreammintz 0
nice tattoo if that is u
bigmanj28 0
Did it work?
jazzyjada10 6
if we see op's cat in heaven, then it worked
metalhead5564 0
HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Your dad is just a little bit strange... XD