Today, my father spent half an hour trying to convert my cat to Christianity. He has already done this with my other two cats. He's completely serious and thinks they are born-again Christians. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I've been babysitting a 4 month-old for two days. This has made a great impression on my cat, because now I can't sit down without him jumping up and licking my face until I pat his butt and rock him like the baby. FML
Today, my dad asked me if I'd started smoking, I gave him a big speech about how I never have and never will. Two hours later, he found my stash of cigarettes under my bed. FML
Today, I went to my grandmother's house to pick up her cat to take him to the vet. She forgot who I was and sprayed me in the face with pepper spray. FML
Today, my dad has decided to that as a New Year's resolution, he's going to strive to wear pants less often. It's only been an hour and I can already tell it's going to be a long year. FML
Today, I was arguing with my dad. I called him a geriatric fool. He replied with, "Well at least I know who my biological father is." I have no idea if he's joking. FML
Today, I was teasing my cat with a piece of string when suddenly my phone rang. I answered it with one hand and put the string down with the other onto my lap. The beast seized the opportunity to spring, claws out, onto my privates. FML
Today, it's my sister's birthday. My parents got her a cat. I have serious allergies when it comes to cats. When I brought this issue up with my parents, they replied, "This day is not about you, it's about your sister." I can feel my throat tightening already. FML
Today, I found out that my dad is actually my uncle, and vice-versa. FML
Today, I caught my dad sneaking a drink of whiskey outside, shortly before my wedding. I asked if he was seriously getting drunk at a time like this. He looked at me and scoffed, "It's the only way I'm gonna get through this stupid shit." FML
Today, my wife and I decided to celebrate Christmas Eve with her side of the family. When we arrived at her parents' house, I heard her mother say that Christmas miracles don't exist since my wife brought me along. FML
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Top comments
pwincessa23 1
hahaha wtf?! this is hilarious though! I'd probably play along or tell him they're Jewish or something.
MrFlintstone 5
ops dad: I comand u to believe cat: meow?!?! ops dad: believe or you'll be damned cat: meow!!! (running away) ops dad: you can't run from god!!!!!!!!!
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Comments (129)
pwincessa23 1
hahaha wtf?! this is hilarious though! I'd probably play along or tell him they're Jewish or something.
man_in_black08 28
hey..
dummbrunette 0
"I now pronounce you...a Christian." "Meow."
changetheworld 0
Well shit, he wants his cats to go to heaven with him. The man loves his cats, no harm in that.
gamercanadian 11
ahh cats these days !!!!!
Quacki 0
I know right?
cudi504 4
pray for them
ayooBrandon 12
lmao I'm not laughing at the comment ^^^
zekecastro 0
I'll pray for you 43
BMXbrett 0
Ha. Real G's move in silence like lasagna.
WCARlover 35
that is SO funny...guess he wants to make an "All Cats Go to Heaven"
Lexi_Ray 5
lol @20
bennetts211 2
This is why I'm happy to be an Atheist.
simply_improper 1
After two years i still dont know what religion my cat is. He refuses to talk about religion with me. I hope he doesnt go to hell. :(
diidiimi 10
my cat's Muslim. It never occurred to me to ask her before this, but I just did and she told me. Our family is mostly Christian and atheist, but apparently she was born into a muslim cat-family, and has been devout since she was a kitten. it's why she's so fussy about food and personal hygiene.
MissFukMyLuck 0
as controversy as religion is, it makes me happy to see people devoted to SOMETHING! yay
monkeygristle 1
Cats are buddhists. They want their nine lives.
ut_hates_me 0
I would rather see them devoted to ANYTHING else. all cats are atheists btw.
bennetts211 2
Not atheists, just uninformed.
kathuzada 6
No, Muslim.
BaMaBelle11 0
I bet the baptism doesn't go so well... cats+holy water= "holy shit get it off of me"
thesunsetglow_fml 8
My cat once tried to convert me to Scientology. I guess Tom cruise got to her first.
fymother 13
cats are themselves gods so there is no convincing them of an alternative religion!
ImanAzol 4
The Egyptians worshiped cats as gods. Cats have never forgotten this.
YoungBanks 3
your picture is epic because it's perfect for the kid under your comment (not me the next comment)
Imgonnahaveabf 9
He should be proud of his cat if he's Jewish.
i_wuz_nver_here 31
no u should go put little yamicas (I have no clue how to spell that) and be like TAKE THAT DAD!
Imgonnahaveabf 9
^atleast you would know your cat would be smart and successful then...
MrCrane3113 1
Praise Jesus
Xaviour 0
he is a fag
YacL 15
Sorry, I'm a firm believer in the Jedi religion.
WiderWille 11
Is Jesus the cat?
purdyphish 3
screw the Jedi, the Sith are way better
Pawned71 0
well, like Soviets used to say "Religion is one hell of a drug!"
nickiforever21 0
Amen!
CaptainDoorknob 7
Religion is a retarded disease. All it does is slow down the progress of science. The Bible, which is a fiction novel written by schizophrenics with delusions of grandure, is no more the truth than what OJ Simpson told his jury. (;
lolthatonedude 5
Youre retarded. Youve probably never read the bible.
LacyWings 3
I feel bad for those cats. :(
omgcookeys 15
3 cats? if your single and over thirty, you qualify as a lonely old cat lady.
beatleschick1940 9
I don't think she'd be living with her crazy dad at over thirty.
cumverg 0
Man, imagine if OP's dad met Nyan Cat... He's got a rainbow, he has to be gay
LacyWings 3
That comment just made my day. :)
Tgyr34 0
train the cats to die for Allah!
chester75 5
**** off mate
ayooBrandon 12
he's a firm believer good for him!
gingersnapp 0
amen.:)
applesuckers 0
:D
slickrasta 1
hahahaha
iSurf_fml 8
Yeah, but it can go too far.
browniegrl 4
a "firm believer" would know that, according to the Christian doctrine, animals don't have souls and therefore cannot be born again. not that I believe in any of that, but that's the word.
misfits911 0
at least they won't go to hell?
baddud300 6
I hear cat hell is pretty bad.
OWNZ 0
kitty hell Is horrible! They dont even bother changing the litter boxes, only get food twice a week and its that cheapo meijer brand! And the dogs...THEYRE EVERYWHERE!!
ibitehard 9
118, I've seen cats attack my dogs, cats are vicious @.@
AnonymousOne234 3
is hell really thar bad? ive been twice, satans actually an okay guy xD even though him and hitler r butt buddies
Imgonnahaveabf 9
Just because you're not Christian doesn't mean you are going to hell. Get your shit straight.
jeover 0
Actually, just because you aren't a christian, in fact DOES mean you're going to hell. Nice try though.
Imgonnahaveabf 9
Really? Did God tell you that? Last time I heard, Jewish people were the chosen ones. Also, Jesus, your savior was Jewish. ALL MEN ARE EQUAL, DUMBASS. Well, unless you're like a terrorist or something.. Actually, nobody really knows for sure.. So just stfu.
lilkamarciano 0
228- your right. it says in the bible that anyone who believes and accepts jesus's name will enter into the kingdom of heaven. dosent matter who you Are. but it also says how the Jewish people betrayed him. no one is really "chosen" were all equal in his eyes.
Epsilonyx 15
Well, at least you know his faith is strong. :D
gingersnapp 0
you're majorly attractive, sure.:)
TylerX 0
Yes :D
Livinia 11
Does he take them to church and pray with them?
xXRiah_GirlXx 9
congregation: amen. *sits* cats: mrow. *licks selves*
monzach 5
23- te cat has more than one of itself?
xXRiah_GirlXx 9
gotta get all nine lives... lol
nahom346 0
hey
BMXbrett 0
nice save ;)
WallyTheWombat 0
Very nice save. Idk if they allow pets in church due to allergies and stuff.
EvanAGD 7
we're they obvious satanist before?
kdkorz 7
We are they obviously satanist before? I hope autocorrect added that apostrophe, because that makes no sense.
EvanAGD 7
haha thanks i didn't catch that. i feel so stupid now!
FMLsOhilarious 6
...what?
xXxXxMasonxXxXx 7
ummm, wow, next he's gonna be yelling at em to get a job xDDD
Kristance 4
Lol damn dude. I think there may be a certain type of prescription medication for behavior such as that! xD