Today, my weird neighbor is a conspiracy theorist and thinks the government is trying to kill him. Someone thought it would be funny to shine a red laser light through his window. I was on the stairs when he ran past, screaming bloody murder, sending me down a flight of steps. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I played a harmless joke on my neighbors by pointing a laser pointer out of my window onto their wall. Apparently, my neighbors don't take jokes lightly as one of the sons pointed at my window while screaming and swearing, then took out a gang bandana and wrapped it around his face. FML
Today, my thundercunt of a neighbor, who's hated me since I moved in, called the cops on me. He told them he saw me shooting up on drugs. I'm diabetic and was injecting insulin, which he could only have seen by spying on me through my living room window. FML
Today, my neighbor yelled “Fuck you!” at me through his window. My crime? Closing my front door “too loud.” This man lets his children beat on the walls and slam doors but apparently I’m the problem. FML
Today, as I was going to bed, I spotted a man staring at my window from a neighbor's yard. Ten minutes later, he was still there. I freaked out, started crying, and contemplated calling the cops. My creeper turned out to be the neighbor's wooden lawn ornament. FML
Today, my crazy neighbor came up to me in the street and slapped me across the face, accusing me of leering through her restroom window while she showered. I'm gay. FML
Today, the police searched my house because my neighbors thought we were aiming a gun with laser sight at them. We were only getting our daft dog to chase a laser light around; we don't even own any guns. FML
Today, as I sat on the toilet, I heard a noise outside. I peered through the window and found myself staring directly at my neighbor. FML
Today, I moved into my new apartment. My neighbor is apparently crazy and thinks I'm trying to 'steal' her husband. She watches me and is super paranoid. I have a two year lease. FML
Today, I awoke to banging at my door. It was my neighbor, accusing me of stealing her mail to spy on her, because apparently she thinks I must be some sort of secret agent. The cops don't believe me when I call, and she won't go away. FML
Today, my elderly neighbour was having some kind of house party. It was incredibly loud, so I went and asked if he could tone it down a little. He responded by grabbing a deck chair, smacking me with it, then chasing me back to my house, all while his guests cheered him on. FML
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Top comments
amd1314a 8
Unless there really was a sniper ... 0_o
DocBastard 40
It's not paranoia if they really are after you. HEY, WHO THE **** IS AT MY WINDOW!?
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Comments (97)
Ovoxo_5 5
Your neighbor was in your house?
Schiffy 18
Probably an apartment complex.
tazmanmike2013 17
That is funny!
KushCrushin89 10
Unless you have a video camera ready. Then it's ******* priceless.
queerdragon 20
He helped you get down the steps faster, how nice of him. I have to admit, that is pretty funny. If you didn't get knocked downstairs, you would think it was hilarious as well.
worldclassrager 41
Now I think he will have insomnia for awhile...hope you are not too bruised up from falling down the stairs...
Lexiiijade 1
Your life sucks, but that's got me in stitches. I feel sorry for you but its hilarious!
Zebediabolical 45
Moral of the story: Next time you laser him get up the stairs faster.
Zebediabolical 45
Yes. I know. It's a joke.
Fleurilia 11
Dale?
evolute72113 9
Drone inbound!
djPanda 8
Don't be a poor sap about it mate it was funny learn to laugh at yourself