Today, I had an orgasm for the first time in almost three months. My husband was beaming, saying he had given it his all and was ecstatic that he had finally satisfied me. But to be honest, I'd remembered we had a bag of potato chips in the kitchen. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I finally had sex with my husband and orgasmed. Three hours apart from each other. FML
Today, I had sex for the first time. I realised that I was more satisfied by last night's dinner. FML
Today, it's been so long since my husband has been able to give me an orgasm that when he finally did today, I started sobbing. FML
Today, my husband and I were home alone and we wanted to do the nasty multiple times before our kids got back from school. He lasted less than two minutes, then fell asleep. It's been 6 weeks since my last orgasm. FML
Today, my boyfriend was pleasuring me with his hands. After two years of being together, he was finally about to make me orgasm for the first time by himself. Just as I was reaching my peak, he orgasmed at the thought of finishing me off and stopped. FML
Today, at last, my husband instigated sex for the first time since the honeymoon a few months ago when he started fondling me in bed. Then I realised he was asleep. FML
Today, after years of secretly faking my orgasms, my husband gave me my first real one. Afterward was also the first time he ever accused me of faking it because, "It was different from all the other times." FML
Today, my husband managed to make Chipotle's beef barbacoa recipe perfectly in our kitchen. I couldn't stop eating, it tasted so good. Then I realized this is the most pleasure he's brought me in the six years we've been together. FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me an amazing orgasm after a long dry spell. I moaned his name as I climaxed, and he replied, "What?" FML
Today, I was the first guy ever to give my girlfriend an orgasm. I was also the first guy to make her poop at the same time. FML
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Top comments
doc_j 0
what in the world. a bag a chips? break it to ur husband that hes never gonna do it for you unless he cums skittles in ur mouth from now on
khaya 9
What would you do for a bag of jelly beans?
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Comments (152)
biebette16 0
Chips are the new sex toys
LinkPGL369 0
thumbs down just for your pic
Avoriginies_fml_fml 14
Haha agrees
kkins 0
aw poor guy :(
akmufasa 1
so you had some hickory barbeque lays ridges in the kitchen huh?
fsaat 0
damn!
braasilianx0 4
eh at least you had one right?
TWOINTHEPINKONEI 0
you fat bitch. that is the most pathetic thing I've ever heard
randomchic4 0
uhm... if that's you in the picture, you can't talk. just sayin...
reimz 2
if that's u in the pic, you shouldn't talk......fatty
MurphyS94 4
Hello pot, meet kettle...
divadro102 16
WTF did i just read
perdix 31
Your husband thought he was a good lay, but you came for good Lay's.
tylr6024 0
people like you are why america is 50% obese. its disgusting.
alexFYL 11
Because she remembered there was a bag of potato chips, so your neighbor is over 200lbs? I wonder how many less people would be overweight if I stopped thinking about the food I had in my kitchen. Sorry guys! I had no idea.
randomchic4 0
how do you know she's fat..? it could just be THOUGHT of the chips.
Pigpen181 3
"Lays"? Bet you just can't have one.