Today, I had an orgasm for the first time in almost three months. My husband was beaming, saying he had given it his all and was ecstatic that he had finally satisfied me. But to be honest, I'd remembered we had a bag of potato chips in the kitchen. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I finally had sex with my husband and orgasmed. Three hours apart from each other. FML
Today, I had sex for the first time. I realised that I was more satisfied by last night's dinner. FML
Today, it's been so long since my husband has been able to give me an orgasm that when he finally did today, I started sobbing. FML
Today, my husband and I were home alone and we wanted to do the nasty multiple times before our kids got back from school. He lasted less than two minutes, then fell asleep. It's been 6 weeks since my last orgasm. FML
Today, my boyfriend was pleasuring me with his hands. After two years of being together, he was finally about to make me orgasm for the first time by himself. Just as I was reaching my peak, he orgasmed at the thought of finishing me off and stopped. FML
Today, at last, my husband instigated sex for the first time since the honeymoon a few months ago when he started fondling me in bed. Then I realised he was asleep. FML
Today, after years of secretly faking my orgasms, my husband gave me my first real one. Afterward was also the first time he ever accused me of faking it because, "It was different from all the other times." FML
Today, my husband managed to make Chipotle's beef barbacoa recipe perfectly in our kitchen. I couldn't stop eating, it tasted so good. Then I realized this is the most pleasure he's brought me in the six years we've been together. FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me an amazing orgasm after a long dry spell. I moaned his name as I climaxed, and he replied, "What?" FML
Today, I was the first guy ever to give my girlfriend an orgasm. I was also the first guy to make her poop at the same time. FML
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Top comments
doc_j 0
what in the world. a bag a chips? break it to ur husband that hes never gonna do it for you unless he cums skittles in ur mouth from now on
khaya 9
What would you do for a bag of jelly beans?
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Comments (152)
CashCaTroy14 0
fag
MeggiRose 0
Sounds like you should go get Lay-ed. Lol!
ivizzle2 0
lol fat bitch
jadenstigman 0
if you can get off on a bag of chips. Then I'm surprised Ur husband can even find your vag under the rolls.
ffuy 0
lol
Leftieswillrule 3
chips you say? maybe he can't please you due the the cavernous magnitude of your loose schoobedoobe. fatty
0308090 0
you're mrs. potato head and would rather have a frenchfry than a dick?
volleychic2014 0
he needs to stimulate you ********
tawnibaby 0
fatass
imperialtl 12
why can't you give the credit to your man? do you know how ridiculously hard it is to believe that the thought of a bag of chips made you ******? just be nice and give him the credit he deserves tubby
nickalley96 6
wtf