Intimacy: Fetishes come in all sizes

Fetishes come in all sizes

By unboned - 11/05/2016 17:30 - United States - Katy

Today, my boyfriend got a raging boner while looking around at a gun store. He hasn't had any sexual interest in me in months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 584

You deserved it 2 816

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Booming

By Anonymous - 26/04/2013 22:22 - United States - Arvada

Today, things got pretty steamy between my boyfriend and me. We started doing stuff that neither of us had tried before. Then, he straddled me with a raging erection and boomed, "IT HAS RISEN!" He didn't understand why I was suddenly no longer in the mood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 907

You deserved it 10 178

By princess - 12/04/2014 21:01 - United States - San Marcos

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky, and I whispered that I love him. He immediately lost his boner, and a few minutes later "remembered" he had to be somewhere else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 558

You deserved it 7 159

Not fair

By Anonymous - 03/11/2021 17:00

Today, my boyfriend is quite capable of getting an erection. He gets one when we watch porn, when I talk dirty to him and do handjobs or blowjobs, but the moment I get naked for the main event, he goes as soft as a boiled noodle. I haven’t been properly shagged in 6 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 233

You deserved it 308

So frustratiiiiing

By Anonymous - 26/06/2022 12:00

Today, I caught my boyfriend masturbating, again. Meanwhile we haven’t had sex in weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 942

You deserved it 430

By Anonycock - 06/01/2016 17:15 - Qatar - Doha

Today, I'm so sexually deprived, I got a boner from undressing a mannequin at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 823

You deserved it 3 906

By BustedEgo - 23/03/2014 05:31 - United States - Norway

Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't know what it's like to be turned on. Apparently, I've been doing something wrong for the past two years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 797

You deserved it 7 321

Can't be arsed, to be honest

By whatamidoingwrong - 22/10/2022 16:00

Today, my boyfriend told me that he’s no longer interested in sex with me, as he just can't be bothered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 054

You deserved it 221

By Anonymous - 14/03/2010 13:19 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me the reason he can't keep an erection while we have sex is that I'm not attractive enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 901

You deserved it 4 722

By Gabi - 20/02/2012 14:23 - United States

Today, my boyfriend would rather jerk off than have sex with me. Even if I'm next to him in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 236

You deserved it 6 549

Libido

By Jena - 05/08/2022 01:00 - United States - Portland

Today, I found out that my boyfriend would rather jerk off to porn than to ever touch me, even if I wear a naughty outfit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 214

You deserved it 331

TheGolfGTI 24

Thursday 12 May 2016 0:37

*Looks at location* Yup.

EnderNutt 16

Thursday 12 May 2016 0:36

Have you tried polishing his pistol once in a while?

Comments

TheEASON 3

Thursday 12 May 2016 5:23

Wouldn't be American if he didn't!

FastTurtle9 14

Thursday 12 May 2016 5:26

Dump him before he cheats on you with his sister.

LoZelda123 20

Thursday 12 May 2016 6:00

that's pretty serious...you better talk with him and see what's up.

sturschaedel 27

Thursday 12 May 2016 6:07

Run! He was probably contemplating where to bury you...

FMLintheanus 12

Thursday 12 May 2016 6:07

looking at the location, it's probably because you aren't his 2nd cousin...

Glamisbound 14

Thursday 12 May 2016 6:27

Freedom Boner

JustASpectator 8

Thursday 12 May 2016 6:48

Just America things, everyday problems...

Catdragon 40

Thursday 12 May 2016 7:35

this is when you bring a gun into the bedroom or dress up as a sexy rifle

Lolipop2241030 14

Thursday 12 May 2016 7:40

I Gotta Girl you wanna meet her Her name is Nine Milimeter I gotta milimeter ready to go off any minute so you feel it ;)

samwilliams800 28

Thursday 12 May 2016 8:01

Only in Texas.

Keywords

Gamers Annoying Video games Abuse Birthday Relatable Scams Social Media Money School Kids Education Parents Public freakouts Health Mental health Grieving Geek Music Poopoo peepee Awkward Jewelry Bikes Cops Transportation Fight Family Work Gross Customers

The Top

Today, I went to a corner store to restock my chocolate stash. A guy from work walked in to see me and the cashier arguing about the amount of candy I was trying to buy with a jar of pennies. He took one look at me and said, "That time of the month, eh?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 739

You deserved it 27 156

Today, I've finally got my mental health under control after decades of flailing. I also started showing signs of Serotonin Syndrome, which is caused by my meds and could result in seizure and death. So my choices are the swirling void of depression or possibly just the void. FML

I agree, your life sucks 497

You deserved it 92

The Top

Today, after dieting and working out for almost 3 months, I sit down on my chair to finish off some work. It broke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 662

You deserved it 4 757

Today, it's officially been two weeks since I found out I have mono. It's also been two weeks since anyone has visited me, called me, or even emailed me. The real kicker? I'm now fired from my job because they can't believe I can have mono twice in one year. I guess I'm just lucky that way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 246

You deserved it 3 723

Today, my son sprayed Axe body-spray all over the house in the vain hope of covering up the scent of the joints he'd been smoking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 617

You deserved it 5 109

Today, my friend and I were arguing over whose boyfriend was better. Just as I was about to convince her, my boyfriend rang. Trying to start the perfect conversation, I put him on speaker phone and answered, "Hey Tiger, I was just thinking about you!" He broke up with me on speaker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 888

You deserved it 16 337

Today, my mom went to court to finalize her divorce. I would have felt sorry for her, had this not been her 7th husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 954

You deserved it 3 070

Today, I was taking the subway home when some entitled fuck called me a "junkie", all because I'm long-haired and have my arms covered in tattoos. FML

I agree, your life sucks 788

You deserved it 220