Today, I posted a question on a forum asking if my week-old nipple piercing would get hooked on anything easily. People assured me that it would be fine. An hour later, I had to climb over a wall to get something and in lowering myself down I forgot about it and dragged my nipple along the wall. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got a nipple piercing. My girlfriend thought I was pranking her with a fake piercing, because I wouldn’t be "daft enough" to get a real one, and she yanked it off, or rather through, my nipple. Yes, it cut my poor nip in half, and I now have two nipples where once I had only one. FML
Today, I had a spur of the moment idea to go have my nose pierced. The piercer made sure to tell me how easily the little stud could get caught or hung up. I spent all day stressing over it only to scratch my nose and rip it out. Now I have a $40 bleeding hole in my nose. FML
Today, I was setting up a rat trap at the kitchen table and had just gotten it set when my phone rang. I foolishly leaned over to grab my phone, brushed against the trap, and it snapped closed on my nipple. I wasn’t wearing a bra so that thing grabbed my nipple hard and didn’t let go. FML
Today, I went to a seamstress to be fitted for my wedding dress and left with a pierced nipple. FML
Today, while shaving in the shower, my mother banged on the bathroom door to tell me something, right as I went to shave under my left armpit, causing me to jump and cut open my nipple. FML
Today, my 5 month old son decided that my lip ring was a toy. Thinking it would be ok, I let him touch it. He got his finger caught and pulled his hand back. The lip ring is still in, but now I have a huge gaping hole in my face. FML
Today, I started my first training day using an MRI machine and completely forgot to remove my nipple piercings before I went in. I've never experienced a pain so vile and lingering in my life. FML
Today, while undergoing the cumbersome task of screwing the tiny silver ball onto my lip piercing, I clumsily dropped it onto the counter and watched it bounce into the trash can, where it nestled snugly into a used maxi pad. FML
Today, as I bent over to pick up my baby, a wasp flew into my bra. I jumped up in a panic, flattening the wasp between my boob and my bra, where it stung me on the nipple, which is now swollen, a funny colour, and throbbing. Did I mention the nipple was already irritated from breastfeeding? FML
Today, I managed to bruise my nipple by closing an umbrella on it. The stupidity of the whole thing hurts almost as much as the injury. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Timmytwofinger 0
At least it wasn't a prince albert
juicebahx 0
Shirtless? >.<
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (44)
awkward611 26
I don't see how this happens to people so often, how can you so easily forget about your piercings I've never got my nipple piercing caught on anything or even my hip piercings nor have I bitten my tongue piercing. I feel for you though...
DinosaurTacoTime 18
Thought it was funny. Sadly I only caught the end. As in, I refreshed and it was all fixed. Took me 10 seconds to realize what was going on.
chocolatejunebug 9
It was my favorite website aprils fools this year. Painful, but simple and elegant and funny. The one that looked normal and just had and as an were horrible!
leogachi 15
Thank you. Just because a joke is executed on a large scale, it doesn't mean it's good. It's a shame that even those who weren't angry about it and just found it boring are being called "butthurt".
feisty_backfired 11
Um, why the hell are you scaling walls shirtless?
Astrobomb 21
omggg I don't miss that. I had to take mine out because my son loves to pull it and laugh
Cody0146 10
well what the hell were you thinking haha
marthamydear23 9
lol. you had to climb over a wall to get something? sure