Today, I was masturbating on my inflatable air mattress that squeaks when you move. Suddenly, my mom burst into my room to ask if I was okay because she thought the squeaking was me crying. I ripped my hands from my pants and turned on my side; she walked over and grabbed my hands to console me. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was touching myself in my room. Just as I hit the climax, my mom walked in because she heard me making noises and thought I was having a nightmare. FML
Today, I was doing a shit load of sit-ups on my mattress. After realizing the bed was squeaking, I heard my dad laughing very hard from the basement. He thought I was masturbating. FML
Today, after running a couple of miles, I went upstairs into my air-conditioned room to cool off. Apparently, my mom walked past my room and heard me breathing heavily. Later, she had my dad give me a talk about masturbation. FML
Today, I heard my parents having sex for the first time so I turned the TV up really loud to drown out the noise, and a minute or two later my mom comes downstairs in this skimpy nightgown to ask me why the TV was so loud and, seeing the horror on my face, kept asking what was wrong with me. FML
Today, my mother caught me masturbating. Trying to defuse the awkward tension, I said "Oh, I was just thinking about you!" Not a good idea. FML
Today, I was jerking off at 2am when a giant, thumb-sized cockroach came flying across my room, prompting me to scream pretty loudly. My mom then came into my room worried, only to find me naked on top of the couch, screaming like a little girl. I still had an erection. FML
Today, I was masturbating in my bedroom, when suddenly, my mom opened the door and walked in with guests. I didn't react quick enough. FML
Today, I heard my mom moan in the other room. FML
Today, I was really horny after some dirty texts from my boyfriend. Since everyone seemed to be sleeping, I closed my eyes and started to touch myself. I was really close to climaxing when I opened my eyes and made eye contact with my mother staring at me as I was masturbating. FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a handjob in the shower. As I was reaching climax, my mom walked by the bathroom door and started talking to me. My girlfriend didn't stop, and in order to distract from the situation at hand, I had to carry on the conversation with my mom. FML
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Top comments
Horny_Christian 0
At least she didn't pick up that you were masterbating.
AliSama 17
be happy, she was worried and loves you. also.. umm. being caught masturbating, and being comforted is not a fml. It is just a comedy, which ended with you knowing you are loved. A fml would have been well, far worst. lol.
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Comments (94)
kl1054 0
YDI for masturbating in the first place...
kimmyN 5
You're an idiot. Sorry, that's mean, but I don't take it back.
Sebastian69 0
Dude, thats your own fault. Find a time when your by yourself (HOME ALONE).
mesohorney8893 0
thats hot
rosaline90 0
YDI for not locking the door!
mollym241 9
Not all doors have locks. The ones in my room don't.
dang_fml 0
LOL @22! "Sauce"??? *dead*
cmac86 23
if you're a girl, what's there to be on your hands after masturbating?
MsStabCake 0
It's not like girls get wet, no no...
chunkyguy 0
@49 you ever touched a girl there man? they are 10 times more wet than us from the beginning to end
Sarra88 4
Omg. Someone missed sex ed.
DynamicDave 11
@49: was that a serious question?
88sforlife 0
Girl Or Guy!!
JustinBieberIsOK 0
Zomg! that's a girl
kekelala3 0
softsoap please!
AnnoyingGerm 0
the toilets a good place to **********