Today, I was masturbating on my inflatable air mattress that squeaks when you move. Suddenly, my mom burst into my room to ask if I was okay because she thought the squeaking was me crying. I ripped my hands from my pants and turned on my side; she walked over and grabbed my hands to console me. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was touching myself in my room. Just as I hit the climax, my mom walked in because she heard me making noises and thought I was having a nightmare. FML
Today, I was doing a shit load of sit-ups on my mattress. After realizing the bed was squeaking, I heard my dad laughing very hard from the basement. He thought I was masturbating. FML
Today, after running a couple of miles, I went upstairs into my air-conditioned room to cool off. Apparently, my mom walked past my room and heard me breathing heavily. Later, she had my dad give me a talk about masturbation. FML
Today, I heard my parents having sex for the first time so I turned the TV up really loud to drown out the noise, and a minute or two later my mom comes downstairs in this skimpy nightgown to ask me why the TV was so loud and, seeing the horror on my face, kept asking what was wrong with me. FML
Today, my mother caught me masturbating. Trying to defuse the awkward tension, I said "Oh, I was just thinking about you!" Not a good idea. FML
Today, I was jerking off at 2am when a giant, thumb-sized cockroach came flying across my room, prompting me to scream pretty loudly. My mom then came into my room worried, only to find me naked on top of the couch, screaming like a little girl. I still had an erection. FML
Today, I was masturbating in my bedroom, when suddenly, my mom opened the door and walked in with guests. I didn't react quick enough. FML
Today, I heard my mom moan in the other room. FML
Today, I was really horny after some dirty texts from my boyfriend. Since everyone seemed to be sleeping, I closed my eyes and started to touch myself. I was really close to climaxing when I opened my eyes and made eye contact with my mother staring at me as I was masturbating. FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a handjob in the shower. As I was reaching climax, my mom walked by the bathroom door and started talking to me. My girlfriend didn't stop, and in order to distract from the situation at hand, I had to carry on the conversation with my mom. FML
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Top comments
Horny_Christian 0
At least she didn't pick up that you were masterbating.
AliSama 17
be happy, she was worried and loves you. also.. umm. being caught masturbating, and being comforted is not a fml. It is just a comedy, which ended with you knowing you are loved. A fml would have been well, far worst. lol.
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Comments (94)
abbottizer 0
that's what you get for masturbating. sicko
i8thelastcookeii 0
your an ass... I mean seriously 95% of people **********. srsly even though I don't I don't think it's sick. ur a .
DrewFluIngle 10
Happy shit (:
BananEnigma 24
Hmmmm, 50+ downvotes...... I guess that's what YOU get for being a judgemental asshole. :)
LMF_fml 0
that suuucks...but really...wait till your parents leave next time hahahahaaa
reptyle216 0
Let's see... Today I thought I heard my son crying in his room. I went to his room to console him but he pulled away when I tried to give him a hug. So I reached for his hand instead. He wasn't crying. He was masturbating. FML
takikosohma 0
It's actually a girl. lol
JustinBieberIsOK 0
it's a woman smarty
flyingsheep1838 0
it's a girl. look at the top.
Ariannalang 0
Why would you assume she was a guy? Over 80% of women **********.
bullrider92 19
The Iphone app does not show gender.
HannahPaloozah 0
Sometimes they do, I'm on iPhone rite now and I see its a girl
BananEnigma 24
In the iPhone app or on the site while on the iPhone, the user photos beside each comment/post are encircled by either blue, pink or grey to show gender (grey is if they didn't specify or etc).....
BananEnigma 24
Also, right beside the OP's nickname is usually a little graphic of a silhouette, either of a man or a girl, or it just won't be there if the gender is not specified.
Heatstreak 0
hahaha ur mom is awsome
jayb_fml 0
lmaooo omg that sux!
madame_malfoy 4
exactly how did "squeaks when you move" mattress seem liek a good thing to ********** on?
summer66_fml 0
wow....thats more like a f her life....
Bryan_Z 0
ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
Toxic_John 0
ever heard of locking the door?
livvyylou 0
guy or girl? either way it still sucks
JustinBieberIsOK 0
it's a woman smarty the pink circle with a cross is the female sign. The male is blue with a circle and arrow like thing