Today, as usual, my neighbor's 9 year-old son came over after school. I work from home so he stays until his mom gets home. My dog mopes around the house until 3 p.m., then gets all excited because he has a friend to play with. I'm almost jealous because a dog I've had for 11 years likes him more than me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my dog has a better social life than I do. He has more playdates scheduled than I have actual human plans this month. I'm officially my dog's social secretary. FML
Today, my neighbour's puppy has developed separation anxiety. Every time my neighbour leaves for work, the puppy constantly whines and barks until he gets home. He works night shifts. FML
Today, I got back from a two-week vacation. During my vacation, I had a friend from work watch my puppy. My puppy now likes him more than me, and won't stop whining sadly since he left. FML
Today, I realized my boyfriend's dog is more excited to see me than he is. FML
Today, my dog has a better social life than I do, since he's been invited to more doggy birthday parties than I've been invited to regular parties. FML
Today, I invited the guy I've been seeing to my home for the first time. He spent over an hour talking to my twelve-year-old dog. Occasionally he would look up to ask me a question, but when I answered he would just continue talking to the dog. FML
Today, my girlfriend is at work, leaving me with her needy son again. If I don't play with him, he cries and throws a fit. If I don't clean the house, she will cry and throw a fit when she gets home. FML
Today, my parents finally fulfilled my childhood dream and got a puppy, after years of me nagging at them. The only downside is that I no longer live at home and he's not mine. FML
Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I said no, she started crying so much that her mom came out 5 minutes later and demanded that I give her daughter the dog. FML
Today, my dog carried on with his recent habit of trying to hump me. When I told my mom, she just joked that he's my new boyfriend. Now my whole family is just calling him my boyfriend. FML
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Top comments
jbuckets_404 39
OP, how often do you play with your dog in the same manner that your neighbor's son does? JS.
alycion 39
Kid play and adult play are different. It’s almost like having a litter mate. It will keep your dog extra active. Be happy. My dog prefers kids over me. They can get on the floor and wrestle with him. I can’t. I play differently. But I’m the one he snuggled with at night and comes to for comfort if he’s not feeling well. I’m the one who’s side he won’t leave on bad days, even to play. And if your dog sees him as part of the pack, he will mole when the kid is not there. They don’t think like people. Don’t project.
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Comments (4)
jbuckets_404 39
OP, how often do you play with your dog in the same manner that your neighbor's son does? JS.
Sonotsuave 37
This FML really isn’t much of one at all. Why is everyone a whiny baby nowadays? You work from home. Take a 20 minute break and play with your dog, and be grateful your dog has company for a bit of time the kid’s doing you an equal favor to what you do for him and his mom!
Cody Vertigo Bonthoux 15
how often do you two play
alycion 39
Kid play and adult play are different. It’s almost like having a litter mate. It will keep your dog extra active. Be happy. My dog prefers kids over me. They can get on the floor and wrestle with him. I can’t. I play differently. But I’m the one he snuggled with at night and comes to for comfort if he’s not feeling well. I’m the one who’s side he won’t leave on bad days, even to play. And if your dog sees him as part of the pack, he will mole when the kid is not there. They don’t think like people. Don’t project.