Family, Drunk, Annoying and Miscellaneous: Drunken antics

Drunken antics

By eddie818 - 10/06/2012 07:54 - Canada - Sidney

Today, I drove my drunk sister home after a wild night of partying. She did not go to bed as I expected; instead, she laid in the bathtub and cried every time I left her. Now it's 3AM, and she's using her bra as a lasso for various objects in the room. The best part is I work in 4 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 259

You deserved it 3 248

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 08/08/2019 20:00 - United States

Today, my drunk sister threw up on me while I was sleeping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 653

You deserved it 102

By jessefonsexy. - 07/12/2010 11:08 - United States

Today, I was trying to go to sleep when I heard my sister come home from the bar. I fell asleep and woke up an hour later to see my sister squatting in my dresser drawer. I asked her what she was doing and she said "I'm peeing." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 136

You deserved it 2 769

By Anonymous - 07/06/2019 20:00

Today, I had to go pick up my mother at 3 in the morning. She had been out drinking and couldn't drive. She parties more than I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 444

You deserved it 213

Drunken mess

By bethany - 03/11/2011 17:36 - Australia

Today, my drunk sister came in my room at 2 in the morning, sat on the side of my bed, fell off, knocked over my glass of water, which ruined my new phone, then got angry at me for getting angry with her. She then slammed my door, which made all the photo frames smash to the ground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 689

You deserved it 3 576

No pain, no meds

By I don’t stink - 01/05/2020 20:00

Today, I finally got to come home after hours spent in a locked down ER after a car accident. My injuries were non life-threatening, but pretty damn painful. I asked my sister to pick up my pain meds from the pharmacy for me. She got drunk and "lost them", AKA gave them to her dirtbag boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 977

You deserved it 263

By Jebus - 24/01/2009 16:07 - Canada

Today, I brought a girl home from the bar. After sleeping together, she drunkenly stumbles to the bathroom to wash up. On her way back, she accidentally walks into my parents' room, turns on the lights and asks where her clothes are before figuring it out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 115

You deserved it 34 774

Family values

By Anonymous - 19/09/2009 04:55 - United States

Today, I went back home. My drunk mother was screaming at my drunk step-dad about a fight that happened four years ago. My little sister was looking in the mirror practicing her "orgasm face", while the neighbors were dancing outside, coked out and naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 86 221

You deserved it 5 374

By driverboy - 31/12/2014 08:08 - United States

Today, I had to pick up and drive home a couple of drunk bitches. Unfortunately, one of these drunk bitches was my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 903

You deserved it 4 873

By Clader - 10/12/2008 03:09 - France

Today, it's 2:23 in the morning, and my drunken girlfriend has just rung me up from a party where she's the only girl there. She seems to be having a great time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 612

You deserved it 2 883

Boozehound alert

By guiltyschuldig49 - 25/04/2020 23:00

Today, I'm exhausted. For the second time, my fiancé and I have pulled my future sister-in-law off the pavement naked and drunk at 3 a.m. and couldn't find the purse or glasses she had with her. She’s hungover and has completely blacked out what happened. Never again giving her a place to crash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 649

You deserved it 223

allard 14

Sunday 10 June 2012 16:55

Atleast you're being a good brother, and looking after her. Could've been Alot worse.

clumsychik 1

Sunday 10 June 2012 16:54

She'll pass out eventually.

Comments

bluelagoon24 19

Monday 11 June 2012 2:05

You sound like the best brother ever :) I understand you're pissed off but if your sister has any sense she'll appreciate what you did.

jaylo1427 4

Monday 11 June 2012 2:13

Your a great sister :)

brohamas16 7

Monday 11 June 2012 3:15

Hahahaahah let's be honest......who hasnt been there before?

NYCZO 0

Monday 11 June 2012 5:33

Let her drunk ass cry.

Jessj958 19

Monday 11 June 2012 6:19

That's really nice of you to take care of her like that...and like someone else already said she owes you one! Lol

Shoone_fml 5

Monday 11 June 2012 7:53

Lumby Days has that effect on people. I woke up pretty messed. Were you guys at Lumby Days?

blutigenbonbon 10

Monday 11 June 2012 9:24

Lmfao xD

96skeeter 6

Monday 11 June 2012 9:33

Just leave her and go pass out she will cry herself out eventually.

quandtu 3

Monday 11 June 2012 14:37

Take photos/videos and latter you can bribe her.

alasdair 1

Monday 11 June 2012 22:57

Take a sick day and say your having bad blood in your family

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The Top

Today, I woke up late. My grandparents had slept over the night before, but they usually leave early. I heard someone in the kitchen and, thinking it was my brother, I said, "Thank god, the geriatric crew is FINALLY gone." My grandma then responded, "No, we're not." FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 496

You deserved it 74 250

Today, I was supposed to be working from home. Instead, I ended up taking the kids out to the park for the morning, because my wife “couldn’t even” today. When we got home, she had demolished two bottles of wine, and was masturbating to a home improvement show. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 983

You deserved it 312

The Top

Today, I met a nice guy who wanted to chat. I didn't want to be the bitchy type and throw him the "I have a boyfriend" line right away, so I conversed with him. When he asked was I single I, of course, said no. He yelled at me and made a huge scene about me leading him on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 799

You deserved it 812

Today, I realized my new kitten is the spawn of the devil. It decided to go get itself stuck in a tree. I tried to climb up to rescue it. But it kept climbing higher. I was about to grab the cat when I fell. The cat then jumped down and started purring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 426

You deserved it 8 820

Today, I stumbled across "Here Comes Honey Boo Boo" on TV and realized that these awful freaks are going to make more money than I ever will. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 288

You deserved it 3 142

Today, after completely refilling my almost empty gas tank, I witnessed the price flip from $3.69 per gallon to $3.59. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 058

You deserved it 2 663

Today, while playing Star Wars: The Force Unleashed, my phone rang, and I instinctively tried to pick it up with the Force. I kept trying until it stopped ringing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 916

You deserved it 45 902

Today, I realized I apologize too often as I said I was sorry to my boyfriend as he broke up with me. I apologized for being sad and making him feel bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 470

You deserved it 5 751