Today, when drunk, I became OCD about everything and spent 3 hours making sure that the books on my shelves were straight. I thought that being drunk was supposed to be fun. FML
Collection
College Life
Packed lecture halls, a sketchy roommate and frat parties: welcome to college, the real thing.
Today, I drunkenly staggered home and crashed on the couch. When I woke up I realized it wasn't my house. FML
Today, I learned that while most people drunk text, I drunk clean. And by drunk clean I mean put my things away where I won't be able to find them, like my car keys. FML
Today, I was sitting in my cubicle at work, nursing a hangover, and thinking how stupid I was for getting so shit-faced last night. I then realized that I was voicing my thoughts out loud, and the whole office had gone quiet, listening to me castigate myself. FML
Today, the water was shut off, so I had to wash down my anti convulsants, anti depressants and sleep aids with an old, flat, non-alcoholic beer from the night before. I don't think I've ever had a more mentally dysfunctional cocktail. FML
Today, I was so drunk that I pissed myself in a hotel hallway while wearing a dress. My shoes squished all the way back to the room. FML
Today, while mildly tipsy, I threw myself onto my bed at a weird angle and somehow managed to somersault off my bed and land in my clothes hamper. FML
Today, my friend and I went to a club. She said I look hilarious when I dance drunk. I was completely sober. FML
Today, I realized that I'm a better human being when drunk or high, because at least then I don't seem like a wind-up toy about to snap. FML
Today, I saw that the wine bottle I couldn't open last night had a big hole in the top from my struggle to open it. It was a screw top. I must've been drunker than I thought last night. FML
Today, I realized that the drunk-me deletes my texts, so the sober-me doesn't get mad. Well turns out, whatever the drunk-me said, caused me to lose my job, my girlfriend, and my coffee machine. FML
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Top comments
breadfruit 0
You should count yourself incredibly lucky that not only are you apparently passive and safe when drunk, you're also productive!
evaki1 12
If you have boring thoughts it's not.
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Comments (140)
StalinsHeir 1
Common misconception.
77777771 12
This is a little vulgar for someone with kittens as their picture, wouldn't you say?
Enan 4
Drinking lowers your inhibitions so you are more "loose" and easier to entertain. However, just like in anything there are extremes. You do not have to drink to the point where you don't remember anything or wake up hungover. You can enjoy yourself with 20-30$ in that case. And frankly, sometime the "stupid shit" you do will come as good memories.
perdix 31
CDO is fun! CDO is the same as OCD, except in the proper alphabetical order as it has to be.
FeroniaMoonscyth 2
Compulsive disorder obsessive? Lawl wut??
duhWINNING2_fml 9
It just turns you into the person you really are.
thrillawang 0
whoever told you being drunk is fun is a straight asshole. it hurts, vomit isn't appetizing, and you still feel drunk the next day and don't want to lol.......good times.
nerdsgetmehot 23
When I've had a few drinks, my OCD goes away.
sparkman97 7
They see me trollin'... They hatin'...
didthatreallyhap_fml 14
So you became the disease??? I never heard of that lol
FlyingWhisps 5
Atleast your books are straight. Next time, maybe you'll organize the pantry by amount of calories. Way to go, Champ!