Today, when drunk, I became OCD about everything and spent 3 hours making sure that the books on my shelves were straight. I thought that being drunk was supposed to be fun. FML
Collection
College Life
Packed lecture halls, a sketchy roommate and frat parties: welcome to college, the real thing.
Today, I drunkenly staggered home and crashed on the couch. When I woke up I realized it wasn't my house. FML
Today, I learned that while most people drunk text, I drunk clean. And by drunk clean I mean put my things away where I won't be able to find them, like my car keys. FML
Today, I was sitting in my cubicle at work, nursing a hangover, and thinking how stupid I was for getting so shit-faced last night. I then realized that I was voicing my thoughts out loud, and the whole office had gone quiet, listening to me castigate myself. FML
Today, the water was shut off, so I had to wash down my anti convulsants, anti depressants and sleep aids with an old, flat, non-alcoholic beer from the night before. I don't think I've ever had a more mentally dysfunctional cocktail. FML
Today, I was so drunk that I pissed myself in a hotel hallway while wearing a dress. My shoes squished all the way back to the room. FML
Today, while mildly tipsy, I threw myself onto my bed at a weird angle and somehow managed to somersault off my bed and land in my clothes hamper. FML
Today, my friend and I went to a club. She said I look hilarious when I dance drunk. I was completely sober. FML
Today, I realized that I'm a better human being when drunk or high, because at least then I don't seem like a wind-up toy about to snap. FML
Today, I saw that the wine bottle I couldn't open last night had a big hole in the top from my struggle to open it. It was a screw top. I must've been drunker than I thought last night. FML
Today, I realized that the drunk-me deletes my texts, so the sober-me doesn't get mad. Well turns out, whatever the drunk-me said, caused me to lose my job, my girlfriend, and my coffee machine. FML
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Top comments
breadfruit 0
You should count yourself incredibly lucky that not only are you apparently passive and safe when drunk, you're also productive!
evaki1 12
If you have boring thoughts it's not.
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Comments (140)
bubo_fml 11
That's odd...Whenever I get drunk, my books end up in the bathtub & I piss all over my book case...
Justwannacoment 7
im CDO. Its the same thing as OCD, but all the letters are in alphabetical order LIKE THEY SHOULD BE!!!!!!1
Dcm210 19
it helps you sleep better.
Levvy 22
"Became OCD"? You became Obsessive Compulsive Disorder itself? You were magically transformed from a human being into an abstract concept? Wow. I had no idea alcohol held that sort of power. What was it like being something had (as opposed to "become", like you were) by so many people around the world simultaneously?
Arxikist 3
So drunk you forgot OCD is not an adjetive?
wwwowww 4
omg I do the same.... no wait, I trash the bookshelf instead!
AD1959 2
I wonder how ur hangover went
DaniPandi 22
You couldn't have been drunk if you remember this! Ps: Ice cream is NOT how you get wasted.
eleynaxo626 0
I'll personally purchase you a case of beer if you'll go OCD on my house for me ?
jlperry31 10
your apparently a drunk nerd. lol well at least you will be the drunk to succeed.