Today, when drunk, I became OCD about everything and spent 3 hours making sure that the books on my shelves were straight. I thought that being drunk was supposed to be fun. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I drunkenly staggered home and crashed on the couch. When I woke up I realized it wasn't my house. FML
Today, I learned that while most people drunk text, I drunk clean. And by drunk clean I mean put my things away where I won't be able to find them, like my car keys. FML
Today, I was sitting in my cubicle at work, nursing a hangover, and thinking how stupid I was for getting so shit-faced last night. I then realized that I was voicing my thoughts out loud, and the whole office had gone quiet, listening to me castigate myself. FML
Today, the water was shut off, so I had to wash down my anti convulsants, anti depressants and sleep aids with an old, flat, non-alcoholic beer from the night before. I don't think I've ever had a more mentally dysfunctional cocktail. FML
Today, I was so drunk that I pissed myself in a hotel hallway while wearing a dress. My shoes squished all the way back to the room. FML
Today, while mildly tipsy, I threw myself onto my bed at a weird angle and somehow managed to somersault off my bed and land in my clothes hamper. FML
Today, my friend and I went to a club. She said I look hilarious when I dance drunk. I was completely sober. FML
Today, I realized that I'm a better human being when drunk or high, because at least then I don't seem like a wind-up toy about to snap. FML
Today, I saw that the wine bottle I couldn't open last night had a big hole in the top from my struggle to open it. It was a screw top. I must've been drunker than I thought last night. FML
Today, I realized that the drunk-me deletes my texts, so the sober-me doesn't get mad. Well turns out, whatever the drunk-me said, caused me to lose my job, my girlfriend, and my coffee machine. FML
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Top comments
breadfruit 0
You should count yourself incredibly lucky that not only are you apparently passive and safe when drunk, you're also productive!
evaki1 12
If you have boring thoughts it's not.
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Comments (140)
evaki1 12
If you have boring thoughts it's not.
pyromania21 0
try smokin pot u woulda done the exact same thing except u woulda had the time of ur life doin it
CapnAwesome 11
Being drunk is fun! But depends how deunk you get. With whom you get drunk.. But drinking alone is depressing :D
DryHumor 4
I personally hate drinking and pot..
DooleyFTW 17
37 - Well aren't you just the cooliest.
mstarxo23 2
38- ??? just shut the **** up.
ShroomsOnAcid 17
I agree, 69. I've never gotten to the shitfaced stage though. I know when to stop, and since I don't enjoy getting even just buzzed, it wouldn't make sense to keep drinking. Most of the drinkers I know agree that being drunk is not a stellar feeling, but for one reason or another, it appeals to them enough to continue doing it.
77777771 12
Your getting voted up even though you put "u"?...Shocking.
DryHumor 4
38 - that is correct.
erfia712 1
Nice abs
21jason 9
I bet you would be pissed if a earth quick hit
lulzworthy 3
No one cares.
Deanna05 2
I've only been drunk a few times and it's actually fun for me because my OCD disappears. I don't care what's going on and I share my drink with who ever. But my OCD is mainly cleanliness based.
DetLions32 6
At least now s/he knows what to do when their house is a mess
breadfruit 0
You should count yourself incredibly lucky that not only are you apparently passive and safe when drunk, you're also productive!
xlord 27
Maybe OP will start doing her homework next time!!
Meme1988 18
Cool, i clean whenever im angry
MicMic_fml 7
36- Make me a sandwich while you're at it..
yankfan89 27
Seriously OP want to come by my house when you want to drink. I will supply the alcohol if you just tidy up my house a little.
mojo87 14
Lol #54 that's exactly what I was going to post. Hehe, at least I think I have a slightly better chance, seeing as OP lives in the same state as me :P
reaperwell 6
isn't that what happen with crack?
me_gusta_eso 1
*facepalm*
prismis 0
Haha I was thinking the same thing! I've never heard people react like that With alcohol!.. I think someone lied a little bit
gloryalvarez 0
He was definitely lying. That does not happen with alcohol! Either he took something or someone spiked his drink!
cinamonkoko 15
@133 everyone reacts differently to alcohol
ashtonkay 7
Talk from experience?
jokolopolop 0
Just bust a nut!!!
valdancer99 0
OP's lucky. I should have cleaned my bookcase years ago. But i'm way too lazy. If I had that "problem" I would drink everyday!!
reaperwell 6
why is there such strange people on tis website?
pyemeister23 1
You Bennybennyboo! You just told the guy to drink toilet water.......
toelie 26
Just like everybody else.
sdevlin 1
you think we're weird go to 4chan
tweetypie 18
So you did post that comment? I thought it was your little sister....
WiseBennyBoo 2
Noticed that the guy who talked about drinking poo water is gone??:D Guess he got banned!
saIty 17
Get so drunk that you want to clean up the world and create world peace.
mojobanks 8
Get hammered and walk to the nearest book store and go nuts
reaperwell 6
hey creep with my picture. you should stop being a creep and take someone elses
promarkchris 6
What on earth is this guy on about?
benderbot19 0
He just tried crack and fml for the first time.
_moden_ 6
It is fun for the people watching :)
Bofferding_fml 6
Obviously that's what you do while you're drunk, and you want OP to do it too so you feel less lonely and weird.