Today, when drunk, I became OCD about everything and spent 3 hours making sure that the books on my shelves were straight. I thought that being drunk was supposed to be fun. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I drunkenly staggered home and crashed on the couch. When I woke up I realized it wasn't my house. FML
Today, I learned that while most people drunk text, I drunk clean. And by drunk clean I mean put my things away where I won't be able to find them, like my car keys. FML
Today, I was sitting in my cubicle at work, nursing a hangover, and thinking how stupid I was for getting so shit-faced last night. I then realized that I was voicing my thoughts out loud, and the whole office had gone quiet, listening to me castigate myself. FML
Today, the water was shut off, so I had to wash down my anti convulsants, anti depressants and sleep aids with an old, flat, non-alcoholic beer from the night before. I don't think I've ever had a more mentally dysfunctional cocktail. FML
Today, I was so drunk that I pissed myself in a hotel hallway while wearing a dress. My shoes squished all the way back to the room. FML
Today, while mildly tipsy, I threw myself onto my bed at a weird angle and somehow managed to somersault off my bed and land in my clothes hamper. FML
Today, my friend and I went to a club. She said I look hilarious when I dance drunk. I was completely sober. FML
Today, I realized that I'm a better human being when drunk or high, because at least then I don't seem like a wind-up toy about to snap. FML
Today, I saw that the wine bottle I couldn't open last night had a big hole in the top from my struggle to open it. It was a screw top. I must've been drunker than I thought last night. FML
Today, I realized that the drunk-me deletes my texts, so the sober-me doesn't get mad. Well turns out, whatever the drunk-me said, caused me to lose my job, my girlfriend, and my coffee machine. FML
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Top comments
breadfruit 0
You should count yourself incredibly lucky that not only are you apparently passive and safe when drunk, you're also productive!
evaki1 12
If you have boring thoughts it's not.
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Comments (140)
CalCommando 6
Better to have OCD than a DUI.
DocBastard 40
You don't consider reorganizing a shelf FUN? Hell, you just had the time of your life! You should get trashed tonight and do your laundry!! Woohoo!
Jimster1712 0
I remember the last time i was drunk.... Damn it
reaperwell 6
Benny boo yes I was speaking of you who else was talking about drinking toilet water with shit in it?
SiriusBlack97 17
The title XD
taran6 3
Ocd is not an adjective guys
promarkchris 6
Was just about to comment on its use too, I was getting really France about it
dadof2 4
the actuall disease isnt but you can pick up ocd habbits that some people might consider ocd
silent_bride 5
Exactly what I was about to say. You became a disorder? It's also not something to throw around like it just comes and goes. People who have an actual diagnosis, and who legitimately suffer from this disorder, deal with symptoms EVERY DAY. Straightening books for a little while one day is not equivalent to panicking when books are not straight, every minute of every day. Please stop trivializing it like this.
DocBastard 40
Oh give me a break. People throw around words all the time like "retarded". No one is trivializing anything. It's just a word (well, an acronym). Get over it.
jizzwold 21
Hey guys I just became AIDS.
Levvy 22
It doesn't bother me that people are "trivializing" it. It bothers me that people don't understand how to use language and labor under the delusion that they do. Kind of like people who don't know the word "addictive" exists and try to mangle "addict" into a gerund ("addicting") and then use that as an adjective instead.
silent_bride 5
59: So that makes it okay, that "everyone" throws words around like they don't have meaning? Come on now. Learn something about words, and understand that they can be hurtful. And it IS trivializing, to claim that you suddenly develop a disorder (or BECOME one, I guess?) after drinking, when there are people who live through hell every day because of it. Think about the student who keeps erasing his or her math homework, twenty or thirty times, because the numbers aren't written exactly right. Think about the person who can't focus on anything else when going up or down stairs, because the number of stairs becomes the most important thing. Think about the parent who has constant, unwanted thoughts about accidentally killing their child. It's not a fun life to live, and spending a few hours arranging books is NOT the same thing.
hockey199813 5
It is fun....
2dog 15
I had sex one time...
Greeneyes41 1
Congratulations?
2dog 15
Don't hate!
Wirbelwind 2
Great pic though
2dog 15
Thanks! (LOL)
2dog 15
Thanks, I took it in Hawaii! (LOL)
mikeeg 0
Yeah right, you wish your profile picture was you!
30STMlove 0
You and me should have a party at my place.
2dog 15
YOUR A DISGUSTING ASSHOLE!!!
EnSigne 13
Try doing it in a bar with friends next time, I guarrantee you'll have a lot more fun..